Liveblogging the COMMERCIALS 2006 D | Sunday, February 05, 2006 Because let's face it, no one cares about the game...  Be sure to check out last year's coverage and last year's Best Commercials Re-Cap. Blogging to begin around 6PM. 5:49PM - Pre-game festivities Blogger has decided to suck ass and does not seem to be co-operating. We will see how long this problem continues and possibly look for an alternative. 5:55PM – Work-around is up and running I hate you Blogger. Hate! 6:06PM – Superbowl MVP introductions Aleve – What if your arthritis pain went away? You could do cartwheels in Central Park McDonalds – Hamster, Hamster, Hamster. The new McD’s mascot. I’m lovin’ it. Full Throttle – An energy drink which makes people go crazy. Dune buggies and monster trucks. And it chases the RedBull car. Let your man out. Blockbuster – Unlimited rentals. Blockbuster is loosing so much money they are throwing movies at people. ABC, Sons and Daughters - A show I won’t be watching. Dysfunctional family show. 6:15PM – Following team introductions and bad (awful) Stars Spangled Banner Click, the movie – This has the potential to be really funny. Sandler’s older films have really become educated humor. And Christopher Walken is a cameo performance. Tostitos – The best thing about your company is The Fiesta Bowl. Don’t show commercials we have already seen. The woman who works was funny the first time I saw it… 6 months ago. Pizza Hut, Jessica Simpson – She’s slutty and now single. Who could be a better spokesperson for pizza? SBC – And AT&T have joined forces. This happened like a year ago. We know. You guys are huge. Disney – “I’m going to Disneyworld.” What do you mean, be more natural? All the players practicing. This is hysterical. First contender for NFL - Dr. Seuss and Harrison Ford and tons of other MVPs. Harrison looks old. Indiana, you’re still awesome though. And Jerry Rice is dancing with the stars. Now you are ready for some football. 6:25PM – Coin toss Blockbuster – Repeat, free rental ads 6:32PM – After the Seahawks first drive Bud Light, Moral Booster – Hiding Bud Lights around the office – not the greatest idea – but very very funny. Burger King – A dance number to advertise burgers. I guess there are only so many ways to sell a hamburger. I did like how they all end up jumping on top of each other. 6:38PM – After Steelers first drive Sierra Mist – Kathy Griffin at the airport takes away the Sierra Mist from the Ed/I Love the 80’s guy whose name I don’t know. A fake beeping sound means we can confiscate your soda. Bud Light, Revolving Wall – The magic fridge is back. 16 Blocks - Bruce Willis’ new movie looks like a he an old cop. I am looking forward to the breakthrough performance of MosDef. He looks talented. NFL, Halftime Promo – The Stones. They are old too. 6:48PM – Next kick Toyota – The Camry is releasing a hybrid. Great, but what is with this guys weird accent? FedEx, Caveman – Another contender for the Best Commercial of the Night. A caveman tries to send a package on a pterodactyl. A T-Rex eats it and the guy has to go tell his boss that it didn’t make it. “You’re Fired.” “But FedEx doesn’t exist yet.” “Not my problem.” Caveman are always funny. Bud Light, Grizzly Bear – Two guys are getting chased by a bear. One guys get cornered and offers the beer a Bud Light. His buddy flies across the screen and steals the beer. 6:52PM - Next Kick V for Vendetta, movie – Natalie I love you. This is the Wachowski brothers newest project. I am totally excited about this one. Diet Pepsi, The Client – Diddy and a Pepsi can. The only noise it can make is to open, which it does so well. Brown and Bubbly. Jay Mohr is hilarious ABC, Good Morning America – Don’t care. 6:58PM – Seahawks field goal Aleve - Mr. Spock at a Trekie Convention. Aleve lets him do the Vulcan hand sign, and the crowd goes wild. Ameriquest – Another contender for the Top Ten. The doctor shocks the fly with the defibulator pads. Says, “That killed him” just as the patient wife and daughter walk in. Don’t judge too quickly. Bud Light, Cleaning the Gutters – Every man in the neighborhood hates his wife so much he makes excuses to hide on the roof. ABC, Lost – Never got into the show and I feel like if I were to start watching now I would have no clue what was going on. 7:04PM – End of 1^st Q Diet Pepsi, The Client II – Jackie Chan and Diet Pepsi. The stunt double is a Diet Coke can. Oh burn. Disney, Cars movie – Has potential but verdict is still out. Owen Wilson is typically excellent, so maybe we can just trust that he will only participate in a good project. ABC, Dancing with the Stars – It’s a good show. Pretty entertaining. SBC – Repeat, AT&T merger 7:12PM – Kick, again Budweiser, Streaker – The classic horse football with a twist. A streaking sheep/lamb with no fur. This was really funny – another Top Ten contender. ESPN Mobile – I saw an ad for this on ESPN.com and was excited to see it is the phone I already have. But alas, it is not compatible. ABC, Grey’s Anatomy – All new. I’ll be watching. The “Code Black.” I think it is a bomb threat. Ashley thinks it is the plague. 7:17PM – Timeout Careerbuilder.com - I love the Monkeys. Sales are down because the monkey had the chart turned crooked. And the boss makes the guy dance at the end of the commercial. Another Top Ten contender. Cadillac, Escalade – I don’t get it. The car comes out of the runway. Yeah, I don’t get it. United Way, NFL – Volunteer. Sure. NFL, Halftime promo 7:20PM – After Big Ben’s Interception MI:3, movie – A few new clips which were not included in the trailer. Film looks good, but nothing can top the original. I’m sure I will end up going to see it anyway. Ashley says Keri Russell (Felicity) is in this film, and although IMDB aggress, I don’t think I have seen her in any of the clips. P&G, Dove – The Dove Self Esteem Fund. Good for P&G. Giving money to um… something. ABC, The Evidence – I won’t watch this either. 7:26PM – After the kick, injury timeout (?) Disney, The Shaggy Dog – Oh Tim Allen, your career is over. Sorry man. Maybe you can work with the monkeys at Careerbuilder.com. Ford, Escape - Kermit is biking and rafting. It’s not that easy being green. True Kermit, so true. But it is easier if you have a Ford Escape Hybrid. Kermit is environmental conscious, as all Muppets should be. Michelob – A new dark light beer. The cute girl gets tackled, “You were open and now you are closed.” That was funny because it was totally unexpected. But girls playing football is always kind of odd looking to me…? ABC, Desperate Housewives - Shaq, “I’m so said that Gabby lost the baby.” Ashley, “Was that Shaq with a mustache?” 7:35PM – Seattle Timeout, Pittsburg 1^st and goal GoDaddy.com – Parodying your own commercial. The busted strap. Classic. 7:38PM – Two minute warning Poseidon, movie – Remake of The Poseidon Adventure. A few new scenes not in the trailer. A huge disaster movie with a hugantic budget that should be fun to watch shit blow up. I’m thinking Titanic without Leo and the love story. Gillete, Fusion – Five blades. I think it was Alex who I used to joke with about having a ABC, Desperate Housewives – Shaq, Tony Hawk, Matt Lienart, Hugh Heffner. All of them: desperate. Ha. 7:41PM – Touchdown is under review (I don’t think he was in) Overstock.com – I think I have seen this commercial before. And even if I haven’t it is still dumb. The phone number: 1-800-THE-BIG-O. Oh yeah baby. Nice. 7:44PM – Touchdown stands, PAT is good, Pitts 7, Seattle 3 Disney – An old commercial, but I love the Rudy music being used for Disneyworld. And the voice? Anyone? Anyone? Kelsey Grammar. 7:56PM – Seattle missed FG, 0:00 left in 2^nd Q Sprint – My phone has crime deterrent. And the guy beans his pal in the head with his phone. That was funny. Another Top Ten contender. By the way, my phone has 1.3 mega-pixel camera, internet, expandable SD memory, mp3 playback, and as I just learned, crime deterrent. NFL Network – We like football. Now buy an additional network for your cable. ABC, Desperate Housewives – The same crew from earlier with additional commentary. Nationwide – It is a proposal Brendan-style. Anna will you marry me? And pay off my credit cards and do a bunch of other stuff? Hope she says yes man. END OF 1^st Half – HALF TIME CELEBRATION I’ll be back at the start of the 3^rd Quarter 8:33PM – Pitts TD and PAT, Pitts 14, Seattle 3 Ameriquest – A woman on a place is returning from the restroom when she ends up straddling some random guy with his eye mask ending up in his teeth. This was another well-done Ameriquest commercial. Don’t judge too quickly. Motorola, PEBL – A phone that has evolved from the ice age. It is basically a rock with ring tones. Looks interesting. Sharpe, Retractable – The theme park pirate likes the retractable Sharpe pen for autographs. ABC, Lost – Drama, drama, drama. 8:43PM – Seattle missed FG #2, 11:40 left in 3^rd Q Budweiser – The young horse tries to pull the Bud wagon. He gets a little help from two of the older horses as they push the wagon from behind. Man says to dog, “I won’t tell if you won’t.” Ashley keeps going, “Awww. Awww. That’s so cute.” Nationwide, Fabio – Fabio gets old in a flash. NFL Mobile – There was a time when you had to get scores the old fashion way: you went on the internet. Now you can get in on your mobile phone. So can I. 8:50PM – Pitts threatening, 7:52 left in 3^rd Q Hummer, H3 – Two Godzilla style monsters are destroying a city and fall in love. The lizard gets pregnant and gives birth to a… Hummer. It’s a little monster. This commercial was well thought-out, complex, yet well executed. Top Ten nominee for sure. Practical Solutions – A new cleaning company suggests that their products are better than everyone wearing haz-mat suits. Preposterous I say. Nothing is more fun than wearing haz-mat suits. ABC, Sons and Daughters – Was it me? Yeah. 8:55PM – Seattle TD and PAT off interception, 6:45 left in 3^rd Q, Pitts 14, Seattle 10 Carreerbuilder.com – Another classic monkey bit. Guy, “I told you I work with a bunch of monkeys.” Girl, ”I work with a bunch of jackasses.” And low-and-behold, she works with mules (with pants). “No guys I don’t want to drink at lunch.” Taco Bell – The nerdy guy and nerdy girl fall in love over a stuffed burrito pan thingy. Spin-off of a commercial which has been aired a lot in the past month. SlimFast – New protein build. Don’t care. ABC, Sons and Daughters – You don’t touch another mans meat. 9:01PM – Pitts kick, 4:42 left in 3^rd Q Gillette, Fusion – Repeat World’s Fastest Indian, movie – Anthony Hopkins is a guy who rides in multiple vehicles where he goes really fast. A bio pic of someone, but I don’t know who. Looks interesting/artsy. Toyota, Tacoma – Time lapse photography shows a guy parking his truck and then a series of huge waves washing the truck all over the place. It ends up in the exact same spot as the guy returns, making it look like nothing happened. Indestructible. NFL.com – Visit and do something. 9:14PM – End of 3^rd Q, Pitts 14, Seattle 10 Sprint – Download music for any situation you want. Like if your couch caught on fire, you should download the Benny Hill music and run around like a bunch of morons. Excellent. ESPN/NFL – Monday Night Football will now be on ESPN, which Ashley wanted me to point out that not everyone gets. So more people will have to get cable. Arby’s – What do you do when your wife dresses up in sexy lingerie and fishnet stockings, “Are those fishnets?” Yeah, I’m thinking Arby’s fish sandwiches. Ford, Local – Ford trucks on sale Hometown Buffet – A couple is standing outside hugging when the wife asks, “When will I see you again?” Husband, “An hour and half tops.” Don’t split up over steak and seafood. Go to Hometown buffet and you can both get whatever you want. 9:25PM – Seattle interception, 10:46 left in 4^th Q, Pitts 14, Seattle 10 Degree – 3x the protection, for all of us men who work in the movie stunt industry. I guess deodorant is another one of those products where there are only so many ways to advertise. Emerald Nuts – I think this commercial had a lot of potential, but I have no clue what was going on. Something about machetes and druids and everyone wanting to eat nuts. The letters of all the things they showed in the commercial spelled out Emerald Nuts. Ash and I were really confused. Fidelity – Boo for using a previously released ad. I didn’t know that a company that embraces such frugality would pay for a Superbowl spot. Sir Paul has had a lot of jobs. Never stop doing what you love. ABC, Boston Legal – Guest starring Michael J Fox and Tom Selleck. 9:29PM – Pitts trick play TD and PAT, 8:56 left in 4^th Q, Pitts 21, Seattle 10 Pirates of the Caribbean II – Basically all trailer shots. Mastercard, MacGuyver – Dude, I love MacGuyver. He is the best and will always be Mr. Fix-it to me. The commercial was pretty basic for me; another variant of their Priceless theme. My favorite shot was the final one – MacGuyver at the grocery store buying his tube sock, turkey baster etc. ABC, Dancing with the Stars – They dance. 9:35PM – Seatlle’s almost turnover under review Mobile ESPN – Sports on your phone. I think we get it. Honda, Ridgeline – The girl from the mud-flap and the truck. I don’t really know what was going on, but apparently women like this truck. Herestobeer.com – It’s a beer website? I am not sure what it was selling, but there it is. ABC, Jimmy Kimmel – An honest ad? Doubtful. 9:40PM – Commercial Break, 6:20 left in 4^th Q World Baseball Classic – A bunch of good players will be playing in some sort of tournament or celebrity game. This is the first I have heard about such a game. GoDaddy.com – Repeat, Parody ESPN/NFL – Repeat, Monday Night Football Nationwide – Dad pushing kid on swing and then all of the sudden the kids is grown up. Dad gets knocked over. Life comes at you fast. 9:54PM – Two Minute Warning, Seattle getting the ball back, 2:00 left in 4^th Q Running Scared, movie – I don’t even know what this film will be about, but it looks to have bad guys, police, and slow motion. We’ll have to look into that a little bit more. Outback Steakhouse – The Australian guy. Both times I was thrown out, I came back. Dumb. Sorry. Just Dumb. The Westin – Breathe. The first non-smoking hotel brand. I think this will become more and more the norm, as opposed to the stand-out. But good for Westin. ESPN, The Pro-Bowl – One last football game. And it will be on ESPN. 10:04PM – FINAL, Pitts 21, Seattle 10 Blockbuster – Repeat, 3x, Boo. Fridays – 12.00 menu, Boo old commercials. Allstate – Don’t drink coffee and drive. And don’t repeat old commercials. Expedia.com – Boo, this entire set was repeats. I’m all done for the evening. After over 4 straight hours of typing and watching TV, I am going to watch Grey’s Anatomy and sleep. Look for my Recap to be posted sometime tomorrow.

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