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15 on 15 - Top Restaurants of All Time
D | Saturday, April 15, 2006
Derek's Top 15 Restaurants of All Time
Before I begin my restaurant list, I wanted to let everyone know this will be the last 15 on 15 that I am in charge of. I am leaving for New Mexico and will not be able to properly serve as the 15 on 15 leader and coordinator. Therefore I pass the torch to my co-creator, Ruvym. I hope the tradition lives on. If more 15 on 15 topics are done over the next few months, I will make a concerted effort to post my list whenever I get back to civilization. And now, on to this month.
15. Olive Garden, National
I remember telling my friend Bernard (who we will hear more about later) that Jen and I would eat at Olive Garden in Times Square. His response, "If you do that again, we will no longer be friends." Being from the Midwest, I have a special place in my heart for unlimited soup, salad, and bread sticks. I end up always getting the seafood alfredo (which is great). Back in the day, every time my mom had her birthday we went to Olive Garden.
14. Arbys, National
Beef and Cheddar. Curly Fries. Mountain Dew. Nuff said. Also 5 for $5.95 (which back in the day actually used to be 5 for $5, although it was 5 sandwiches for $5.)
13. O Charleys, National
I worked here for 4 months before going to college. It is a standard Applebees/Fridays type place with the exception of its two saving graces: cheesy potato soup and hot rolls. I would eat these two items every day after work. En mass. I ate bowl after bowl of this soup. And the rolls are hot and soft and covered in honey butter glaze stuff. If you ever go to O'Charleys don't order anything except rolls and soup. Maybe a beer on tap.
12. Insomnia, Columbus, OH
Thanks to the Gateway Project committee, this wonderfully terrible coffee house is no more. But sophomore year we spent many evenings in this shady dive drinking coffee, smoking cigars (which they eventually made us stop), playing chess, and listening to horrible college angst poetry. This place was totally a dive, which is what made it so great.
11. Subway, National
Whenever I am in the need of "fast food" I always try to seek out a Subway. Probably because I think that it is healthier than regular fast food, but who knows. My sandwich of choice: Footlong Italian BMT on asiago cheese bread, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickles, olives, banana peppers, jalapenos, spicy mustard, mayo, salt and pepper, oil and vinegar.
10. The Golden Chain, Pisgah, OH
I am a connoisseur of Hot and Sour soups. It is one of my favorite dishes. I order it at every Chinese restaurant that has it on the menu. The Golden Chain, 5 minutes from my old house in West Chester, to this day has the best Hot and Sour soup I have ever had. My mom and I went there not two weeks ago and it is still top notch. Also try their Moo Goo Gui Pan (sp?).
9. Little Caesar's Pizza, West Chester, OH (but I they are a national chain)
I don't know why but this will always be my favorite type of pizza. There was nothing particularly special about it. It was the closest one to my family's house and on Fridays when my mom didn't feel like cooking, my dad would run up get us 2 pizzas. And I got to order the pizzas and I had to use "The Pizza Voice" because my parents told me that if I sounded like a kid, they wouldn't make the pizza for us. So I would pretend and do this deep adult voice. Man, those were the days. I don't know why, but the one near me eventually went out of business. Which brings me to my next out of business restaurant...
8. Wingslingers, Columbus, OH
Late night campus wing runs. I miss you Wingslingers. I can't believe that Alex and I alone could not keep you in business. 30 cent wing night, where have you gone? Southern Fries with extra cheese and extra ranch, come back... my arteries are not nearly as clogged without you. Seriously though, best wings of my life. And what was great about this place was it was a 2 minute walk from our house on Lane. Damn I miss Wingslingers.
7. Haiku, Columbus, OH
My favorite sushi restaurant is this little Asian style restaurant in Columbus' Short North District. I've had a lot of sushi from a lot of different places and this always tastes the best. It is like the sushi chefs really care and put a lot of pride into making perfectly designed sushi. Every piece is fabulously crafted.
6. Graeters, Cincinnati, OH
From sushi we move to ice cream. Best ice cream, hands down, kick his ass. I love Black Raspberry Chip. Graeters is the only ice cream establishment I have ever known that puts in huge chunks of chocolate that are too large to eat in one bite. Their ice cream is exceptional. I can remember on special occasions we would get to stop by Graeters. So good.
5. Martinis, Columbus, OH
So my friend Bernard is a huge fan of food. He always finds the best places to eat and he always orders the best selections from the menu. When he lived in Columbus he actually worked at Martinis and that is how we started eating there. This was probably the first nice restaurant that I started going to more than once and more than on just special occasions. Sitting on the edge of downtown Columbus, Martinis is a great atmosphere with excellent pasta dishes. I am sure the rest of their menu is also good, but I always get pasta. I love eating there because I always feel relaxed.
4. Skyline Chili, Cincinnati, OH
A Cincinnati tradition not to be forgotten. You either love it or you hate it. The chili is served on spaghetti or on hot dogs, called coneys. The secret ingredients are cinnamon and chocolate. I think my love affair with Skyline began when I worked there for a year and a half in high school. Ever since then, I can't get enough.
3. Corner Bistro, NY, NY
Another of my Bernard restaurants, this little burger joint was our place when we both lived in NYC. This hole in the wall is a tiny establishment tucked away in the West Village that is kind of like a burger and beer speak easy. It is darkly lit with exposed brick decor and an old guy who is obviously the owner tending bar. They cook these amazing burgers in this "kitchen" which is big enough for one guy to stand there. The beer, all on tap, is served in mugs and the burgers on paper coffee filters. Amazing place. Amazing food. If you live in NYC, find it and go there.
2. Red Lobster, National
What can I say? It's a sentimental favorite. Not the best seafood ever, but quality seafood and you can find a Red Lobster anywhere. Here's my standard meal: Frozen drink, crab mushrooms for an appetizer, Caesar salad, cheesy bread, 1.5 lbs of snow crab legs, mashed potatoes, and chocolate cake with ice cream for dessert. Once at Red Lobster it was my mom's birthday and when they came over to sing to her she told them her name was Sally. Which it is not.
1. M, Columbus, OH
The final and best of the Bernard restaurants. Easily my number one choice in fine dining. This restaurant is new and modern, hip, trendy, and always fresh. The food is top of the line, the service is impeccable. I have never had a bad dish and I would take anyone there.
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Other receiving votes (in no particular order):
Wendys, Mark Pis, Catfish Biffs, NYC Hot dog vendors
D | 4/15/2006 01:00:00 AM
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And the turtles have it
D
So I was at McDonalds today and I was watching this newborn baby. It was basically a coo-ing hunk of gelatin. I mean think for a moment about the period of nurturing before that baby can survive on its own - standard response is 18 years. Honestly when we think about real survival it is probably more like 3 or 4. A three year old could probably scavenge for food and learn to hide under some rocks for shelter.
Eating my new spicy chicken sandwich, I am looking at this helpless, clueless, defenseless baby and I start comparing it to other mammals and I come to this conclusion - ours is the most helpless of newborns. Compared to other animals, other mammals also tend to have a longer nurturing period, but to my knowledge nothing like 3 years, much less a full 18 years. Apes live in social groups where mothers can still help out their young but at three years old, that ape could have left a long time ago. I have no idea how long whales stick together and dogs can leave the pack after just a few months.
I get to thinking about it and then I remember baby sea turtles are born buried under like 2 feet of sand. They hatch with no mother anywhere in sight. They have to emerge from the sand alone and unaided. Once free from the sand, they have to make this perilous (and quite typically fatal) journey from the middle of the beach to the ocean. Once in the ocean, they have to learn to swim, learn to hunt/eat, learn to mate, all with zero guidance. A new born human baby can't even sit up on its own - it takes months to even learn to crawl.
I guess my point is this: At birth, our species is pitiful. We are dumb, weak, and entirely incapable of doing anything. At all. If not for parental supervision, babies probably wouldn't even know to stop crying. At the moment of birth, we, the kings of the animal world, are catapulted to the bottom rung of the food chain. A baby turtle the size of a half dollar is immensely more impressive. And almost as cute.
Thank God for a big brain (a whole lot of good it is doing us at one day old).
D | 4/06/2006 05:22:00 PM
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The sexual undertones of Super Nanny
D | Monday, April 03, 2006
So Feather is watching Super Nanny tonight and I just happen to sit down in the living room to read my mail (read, I was not watching Super Nanny). The Super Nanny, Jo Frost, is doing a little segment before the commercial about how you too can properly discipline your children when they misbehave outside. She is basically introducing the concept of "Time Out." When the child is being bad, you remove them from the fun and send them to a time out zone, what she calls a "Naughty Place."
Now those who know me well, know that I have a special affinity for women with British accents. Even a discussion of bowel movements would get me in the mood if said with a British accent. Now I'm not talking about Eliza Doolittle and that ridiculous cockney accent, gov'ner, but the proper female British accent just does it for me.
So there I am just minding my own business, not listening to the TV, when a wonderful British accent starts talking about "naughty places." "Anywhere can be a naughty place." Now, we have a series of shot with her a different places outside. A wall. A tree. A bench. Her commentary at each locale, "Here can be a naughty place." "Here can be a naughty place." "Here can be a naughty place too."
At this point I am cracking up. This is exactly what I need to make my day complete: A sexy British woman will who constantly remind me that, "Anywhere can be a naughty place."
D | 4/03/2006 10:02:00 PM
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Weather Man
Inside Man
Pride and Prejudice
