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Brother knows best
D | Friday, March 24, 2006
Favorite Birthday Message #1 (left on cel phone)
Hey Derek, what up, it's your brother. I noticed that it was, uh, March, uh, 23rd. I just wanted to say "Hey and (weird voice) happy birthday." (end weird voice) The big two five. That's...that's uh.... (chuckling) You're almost 30. Oh. My. God. (beat) Anyways, I just wanted to say "Hey and I hope you have a happy happy birthday" and if you get this I hope I was the first to call, hope I was the first to let you know. Just give me a call - I'd love to talk to you and I'd still love to have that day before you go off to Philmont where we can bond and, uh, get drunk and, uh, what not. Other than that, uh, just give me a call and let me know what's going on. Allright later brother, bye.
-Patrick Walden, March 23rd 12:17AM
Were you intoxicated when you called? That one voice was really odd for you. And 30 huh? Thanks. That's nice. You were, for the record, the first one with birthday wishes. Well done.
Favorite Birthday Message #2
"hey asshole
you didnt even have a post for your birthday or even mention to your audience that it was your birthday - i would like a belated birthday post - happy bday bro!"
-Patrick Walden, March 24th 4:22PM
"hey asshole" is Pat's traditional Birthday Greeting, in case anyone was curious. And I don't talk about my birthday because I think it is silly. I didn't do anything, thus I don't really deserve any credit. Please send all gifts to: Marsha Walden, Mother of Derek who gave birth to him on March 23rd, 6624 N. Windwood Dr., W.Chester OH 45069.
D | 3/24/2006 05:39:00 PM
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Because you never knew what they were saying either
D | Monday, March 20, 2006
"Sugar We're Going Down"
-Fall Out Boy
Bold are the parts I sang like incorrectly
Itallics are my comments
Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum
[WTF? Where did these kids grow up?]
I'm just a notch in your bedpost
But you're just a line in a song
(A notch in your bedpost, but you're just a line in a song)
[Those lines make a lot more sense now. You're just a line in a song. Oh, burn!]
Drop a heart, break a name
We're always sleeping in, and sleeping for the wrong team
["Sleeping," not slipping. Ahh.]
We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it
[Yeah, even knowing the words, the chorus still makes no sense. It would make sense, as some have suggested as a loaded gun complex, but no, its God. What? No sense. I can only guess that he/she/they are in a fight. And as opposed to going down early, they are busted out a gun and shooting their opponent?]
Is this more than you bargained for yet
Oh don't mind me I'm watching you two from the closet
Wishing to be the friction in your jeans
Isn't it messed up how I'm just dying to be him
Notes (found here):
1. The correct lyrics really say "GOD complex". It was confirmed by the band members
2. CD cover says "wishing to be the friction in HIS jeans" when in the song it's clearly said "wishing to be the friction in YOUR jeans"
D | 3/20/2006 11:59:00 AM
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15 on 15 - Top Television Shows of All Time
D | Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Derek's Top 15 Television Shows of All Time
Sorry for the delay.
15. The Cosby Show, Syndication
Bill and his family will always be some of the funniest on TV. Favorite episodes include when Vanessa goes to the concert without telling her parents, and Theo plans his budget with Monopoly money.
14. ER, NBC/TBS
Carter, Ross, Green. These are guys I want to be my actual doctor. I think my Mom really turned me on to the wonders of ER. Every Thursday for years. There was no talking during ER.
13. Full House, ABC/Syndication
You're dead to me Stephanie Tanner. But every day after school for years - I couldn't not put the Tanners on my list.
12. Fraiser, NBC/Syndication
Witty banter. Two psychiatrist brothers, a grumpy old father, British housekeeper, and Jack Russell. I still remember watching the episode where Daphne runs off with Niles before her wedding.
11. Friends, NBC/Syndication
Because who in our generation doesn't love this show. We quote it all the time. Everybody knows episodes just by tag lines.
10. The Simpsons, Fox
Maybe because I was never allowed to watch The Simpsons when I was growing up. Maybe that explains why I love the show so much now.
9. The Daily Show, Comedy Central
Consistently hilarious. John Stewart should have his own network nightly talk show.
8. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, ABC(?)/Cartoon Network
Many a Saturday morning were spent with the crime fighting pizza eating antics of Mich, Leo, Raph, and Don (and Splinter, April, Shredder, and The Brain). I had all the action figures. I saw all the movies in the theaters. I think I was a ninja turtle for Halloween one year. Favorite turtle: Leonardo.
7. MacGyver, Spike
Tagline: "His mind is his ultimate weapon." I remember always being impressed with this show. It was always amazing. This guy could escape from any trap, foil any bad-guys plan, and rescue any girl - and all with a shoe string, a match book, and his pocket knife.
6. Law and Order (the original), NBC/TNT
No Sport Utility Vehicle, no Scooby Doo Criminal Intent with Vincent D'Onofrio (your best role was the cockroach from Men in Black). Jack McCoy, I love you and want to be you. We invented the L&O drinking game. One liners with Lenny about drinking or his ex-wife. And there's always a hot female ADA for Jack McCoy. Angie Harmon, I love you, but you're a Republican.
5. Mad About You, NBC/Oxygen
The first "adult" show I actually enjoyed. I can remember back in highschool and watching the show while on the phone with Heather (my highschool girlfriend). We were too young to drive to see each other, so we would watch it together and talk about it over the phone. For the longest time I wanted to be Paul Buchman. Really I just want a dog like Murray and wife like Helen Hunt.
4. Star Trek; The Next Generation, Syndication
What can I say? I'm a nerd. I love the Enterprise D. My dad would watch this every day after dinner. He would fall asleep in his chair, but I would always stay awake and watch the trials of the crew. I love almost every episode (but hate the Hotel Royale episode). When this came to Spike, they had 24 hours of TNG. I watched about 18 hours (who remembers this?). Oh TNG. TNG also taught me what a split infinitive was, "To boldly go..."
3. Ed, NBC/TBS
I may actually end up (at some point in my life) as a bowling alley lawyer. The nice guy who actually wins. Second only to Dan Kaffee, Ed is my idol.
2. Batman; The Animated Series, UPN/Cartoon Network
Everyday after school for years. Taking it's cue from Tim Burton's Batman movie, this show helped re-invent Batman cartoons. I loved it because it was dark and edgy and exciting. There wasn't a lot of flash and glitz. The show was well done and well written.
1. The West Wing, NBC/Bravo
Anyone who reads this blogs knows - I love this show more than anything else on television. I will watch this show with no end. I have seasons 1-4 on DVD and watch them at least once a day. I have memorized dialogue and use it in daily conversation. Aaron Sorkin is my hero. Best TV show of all time.
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Other receiving votes (in no particular order):
The Muppet Show, Saved By The Bell, Sienfeld, The Wonder Years, Project Runway, Voltron, He-Man, The Office, Gray's Anatomy
D | 3/15/2006 11:00:00 PM
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Hike the Grand Canyon with me
D | Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Does anybody want to backpack through the Grand Canyon with me?
Who: Me and ??? You?
What: Three day, two night, 17 mile, over 9,000 vertical feet, backpacking trip
When: April 26-28 (very tentative), but before Philmont
Where: Grand Canyon National Park, South Rim "Trip A"
Why: It's the Grand Canyon man. Why not?
I will be submitting my Permit Request in the next week or two. If you want to go, please let me know ASAP.
D | 3/07/2006 01:57:00 PM
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Weekend Update
D | Monday, March 06, 2006
This past weekend had a few interesting topics, thus warranting a long overdue Weekend Update.
Friday night through Saturday afternoon, Ashley and I went camping at John Bryan State Park. Wasn't it pretty cold last weekend, you ask? Oh yes my friends, downright frigid. As opposed to describing all the things we did, I am going to make this part of the post educational in nature and share all the things Ashley learned about camping (or at least, I think she learned):
-Water pumps are turned off in the winter
-But vending machines still work
-Contact solution freezes
-As do your toes and your nose
-Unless, in the middle of the night you steal the community blanket and pull it over your face
-Latrines smell like "the zoo"
-Fires take a lot of work to keep going
-Pita, squeeze cheese, and summer sausage is nothing to complain about
-Air mattresses aren't just for floating in pools
-Oatmeal packages are water-proof
-Proper ID of deer, dog, and people prints (for her career as a hunter/tracker)
-Stage coaches were not a fun way to travel
-Derek wishes he had a dog to take camping
-Wolfgang Pucks self heating coffee cups suck for heating
-And the coffee is not good either
-Camping would be more fun if the temperature was above freezing
-And some beers couldn't hurt
Also this weekend, OSU claimed sole possession of The Big Ten Conference Title going 12-4 in conference play (23-4 overall). Go Bucks. Best of luck.
This weekend was also a weekend of movies with, of course, The Oscars and my astonishing 3rd place victory in Brendan's online pool. But also, I saw Panic Room which was merely OK, Spiderman 2 which I have always maintained is an excellent sequel to the first Spiderman, and HP4 for the second time which is the darkest, scariest, and saddest of the Harry Potter series to date.
On my way home to the 'Nati, I visited my brother who seems to be doing very well. He plans to graduate in 3 quarters (Spring, Summer, Fall). And if you can read it on the internet, it must be true. I also stopped in on Kate and Christy. Clad in their nightgowns while watching the Oscars, their apartment smelled like a chemical plant spill - they were painting their toe nails with what I can only categorize as industrial strength hydrochloric acid. In the 20 minutes I was there, they also cooked three bags of popcorn because "nothing tasted right." Who buys the "Lite" butter kind? Girls are so funny to me.
All in all, a solid weekend. For Weekend Update, I'm Derek Walden.
D | 3/06/2006 12:22:00 PM
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Talk about your chickens coming home to roost
D | Thursday, March 02, 2006
-Ainsley Hayes, Bad Moon Rising, WW Season 2 Episode 19
According to Yahoo! (AP), all of our West Wing favorites will be making appearance in the last few episodes of the show. Names include Rob Lowe (come groveling back wow), Mary-Louise Parker (hot wow), Gary Cole (bingo wow), Tim Matheson (sex scandal wow), Marlee Matlin (sign language wow), Emily Proctor (Republi-biscuit wow), Anna Deavere Smith (pant-suit wow), and Timothy Busfield (engaged to CJ wow). This should be great. I am also assuming that we will see all the regulars.
With all these stars coming back, I just have to ask...
Where's Taye Diggs as Secret Agent cup-cake detail? Moira Kelly as WW staffer Mandy from Season 1 who answers to Josh and answers to Toby and simply falls off the face of the planet for the remainder of the show? Matthew Perry as the male Rebupli-biscuit Chief Justice clerk turned White House Counsel, Volume 2? Mark Feuerstein as Republican lawyer searching for his boxer-shorts Donna throw-away boyfriend #infinity? Christian Slater as 2AM watch Commander with a busted $400 ashtray Donna throw-away boyfriend #infinity plus 1? Mary Kay Place as Surgeon General who loves pot? Matthew Modine as CJ's Dayton one-night-stand Paris watchmaker? John Goodman as the fattest president since Grover Cleveland? John Laroquette as the modern major general cricket bat White House Counsel #1? Oliver Platt as gavel wielding dictaphone smashing White House Counsel #2 (or 3)? James Brolin as the boy crime I don't know Presidential candidate? Glenn Close as the first female Chief Justice of the Supreme Court (I don't know anything funny on this one)? And, of course, the incomparable Roger Brees, the drunkest Brit to visit the White House since Churchill?
Wow, that took a long time to do.
D | 3/02/2006 12:03:00 AM
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American Dreamz
The Dirty Dozen
Superman Returns
Pirates of the Caribbean II
Accepted
