derekwalden.com: January 2005


	Super-Zoom D \| Monday, January 31, 2005 If you are computer geek like me, you should check this out: http://www.tpd.tno.nl/smartsite966.html A physics company in The Netherlands has taken the world's first 2.5 billion pixel photograph. This is so cool. If you go to the web site, they have a zoom feature which allows you to maximize the pictures zoom potential. Ridiculous! Check out the cut and paste zooming I did. The clock tower says it's 3:05. Hat tip: Futility Closet (also check out the guy flicking off the camera) D \| 1/31/2005 05:19:06 PM \| 1 comments \| Post your comment


	Cookies D \| Sunday, January 30, 2005 I'm a bad brother. I went to Columbus this weekend and my mom gave me a bunch of food to take to brother. He is poor and as such, typically has no money for food. So mom packed two huge bags of food for Pat including some chocolate chip cookies. I took the cookies and ate them. I wish I could say my car broke down and I had to eat the cookies or I was going to dinner party where I had volunteered to bring a desert. Nope. They just looked good, so I took them. Perhaps as a fee for bringing the other food to him? I don't really know. So Pat, if you're reading this, sorry man - I ate your cookies. Mom, if you're reading this, I made this whole thing up. D \| 1/30/2005 11:43:47 PM \| 1 comments \| Post your comment


	High-schoolers not as slutty as first thought D \| Friday, January 28, 2005 Believe it or not, a recent study suggests that high-schoolers aren't just running around having sex with everyone they find (which corresponds exactly to how I remember high-school because I was having sex with exactly zero people). Apparently they are forming complex "chains" of sexual intimacy. Basically each individual has one or two partners and, like a complex game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon re-named The Thirty Seven Degrees of Cheerleader Suzie, each person serves as a connecting link in a never-ending "chain" of relationships. One of the key researches, James Moody (who looks like he too never got laid in high-school) works at THE Ohio State University. I can't wait to donate to my alma-mater for such ground breaking research as high-school sex partners studies. Researchers have visually depicted an entire high school class - boys are blue dots, girls are pink dots. Click the picture for the full size image. So students are semi-monogamous in high-school. Except for this one guy in the dead center...9 women...what a man-whore.... All images copyright of researchers and their respective publications. Hat tip: Boing Boing D \| 1/28/2005 05:44:28 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	SW: Episode III Title Crawl D In an unprecedented move, Lucasfilm has released the title crawl for the upcoming Star Wars Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. This is excellent!!! Click on the crawl to go to the full image which includes the crawls from every Star Wars film. Check out the full article here. All images are copyright Lucasfilm. D \| 1/28/2005 02:44:48 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	Kentucky-speak D \| Thursday, January 27, 2005 Mike (from Kentucky) says, "I ain't gettin' no crap from nobody." He means, "I am not getting any crap from anybody." I think, "If you are getting no crap from nobody, then you are getting some level of crap from everybody; i.e. everybody is giving you some crap.(A) But if you 'ain't getting no crap from nobody,' then you are negating the fact that you are getting some level of crap from everybody; you are negating that everybody is giving you some crap.(B) Execute both negations (C) and say the conclusion from the remainder point of view...You are probably getting some level of crap from at least one person.(D) Which leads me to the ultimate conclusion you are from Kentucky and you have no idea what you are saying to me.(E)" Explanation: (A) Because this is a double negation, total reversal is possible. If no one is giving you nothing, then everyone is giving you something. (Think Baby Jesus - No one showed up with nothing to give him, everyone had a present). Getting "no crap" from "nobody" is the same as saying "There is not one individual is who is giving me no crap." Therefore I can re-write this as "Everybody is giving me at least some level of crap." (B) Given the 'Nati's proximity to Kentucky, I feel safe in assuming "ain't" translates to "are not" or simply "not." Therefore all we need to is add "not" to our statement above: Not everybody is giving me at least some level of crap. (C) This is the tricky step. Recall, the negation of "everybody" is not "nobody." "Not everybody" has the remote possibility of meaning "no one," but officially means "some amount less than all" and implies "more than zero." For example, "Not everybody I invited came to the party, only some people did." Good so far. But in logic, both terms must be negated; we must negate the "some crap" term also. The proper negation of "some" is "none." Here that will be no crap. Think of it this way...If I have all of a pie, then obviously I have some of the pie. And if I have one piece of the pie, then obviously I have some pie. But if I have no pieces of the pie, then I do not have some of the pie. None, is the only true negation of some. These two negations combined brings us to the full translation: Some amount less than all people are giving me no crap. (D) Assume 10 people are in the room with Mike. Our logic has told us that some amount less than all people are giving him no crap. Let's say 9 of the people in the room are giving him no crap. There is still that one person who is free to do whatever they choose. This "remainder" person, who represents our "amount less than all," could be giving him crap. Knowing Mike, as I do, I think that person would probably be giving him some crap (he loves WWE, typing words in number form: "2gether", and mid-day soap operas - we're friends, but even I give him crap). So as opposed to saying, "Some amount less than all people are giving Mike no crap" I reversed it and put it in terms of the remainder person: You (Mike) are probably getting some level of crap from at least one person. (E) I always wondered how sentential logic would come in handy. I never knew I would be forced to use it in a conversation with someone from Kentucky. This post took me two hours and eleven minutes to write, proof, and edit. D \| 1/27/2005 07:13:46 PM \| 5 comments \| Post your comment


	Credit card victory D Two days I called my credit card companies and I struck a blow for all consumer debtors everywhere. I drastically lowered my interest rates (one rate was cut by 70%). And to help my fellow credit-beholden brethren, I want to share my tactics for success.* Basically, all I did was call the 800 numbers on the back of the card and threaten to transfer my balances to another card. I had only vague intentions of actually doing this, but to keep me paying interest to them, the companies lowered my rates. In my opinion, the interest rates I will now be paying are market-lows at best, and perfectly reasonable at worst. One company dropped my rate three times (via 2 separate reps) and another gave me a fixed rate. The entire conversations took about 15 minutes, 5 per company. I used the magic words of "moving my money" and "leaving your company if you can't do X" and that took care of it. Godspeed, fellow dare-devils of deficit. You are probably only going to care about this if you carry any balances or ever plan to carry any balances. If you are one of those people who pay off your entire credit card every month, then you won't really care about this post (oh, and I hate you). D \| 1/27/2005 12:20:45 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment*


	A love letter to Firefox D \| Wednesday, January 26, 2005 My darling Firefox, I have something very important I want to tell you. Since you have come into my life I have been happier than ever before - you've freed me from the oppressive yoke of Microsoft and their devil program, Internet Explorer. You've made me see that I deserve a web browser who appreciates me and treats me with respect. I just can't thank you enough. You protect my security information when it is vulnerable to hackers. You smack down pop-ups who try to solicit my attention. You have an easy user-interface that radiates a gentle kindness. And your "tabbed browsing"...oooh, I get hot just thinking about it. I will never use another browser. I want you to know this - I want to shout it from the roof tops: I LOVE YOU!!! Yours forever, Derek For more info, check out my Firefox FAQs. Make the switch. D \| 1/26/2005 03:59:48 PM \| 1 comments \| Post your comment


	Make your own error messages D \| Tuesday, January 25, 2005 I found this link while browsing around. You can create your own error messages. It proved fun for a little while and web-site developers might be able to use it for something funny (I did). Check it out here. D \| 1/25/2005 03:25:00 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	Valentine's Day already... D The guy next to me at work is making plans today for Valentine's Day. He's trying to get a reservation at a nice restaurant. I looked at the calendar and responded that it was only 3 weeks away and he might not be able to get one. And then I realized what I had said. Oh man. Valentine's Day is 3 weeks away. Categorically, I don't care much for Valentine's Day for all the standard reasons: I'm a guy, It's a Hallmark holiday, It means I am forced to do stuff I would much rather do without the prompting of a calendar. Yet in typical Derek fashion, I really enjoy putting time and energy into a women and showing her a nice time on a day that is special to her. Some of my Valentine surprises have included scavenger hunts, video histories, personalized webpages, and other things. Last year I had a fabulous Valentine's Day in NYC, one of my best weekends in NYC ever - an amazing women with an amazing 9 course tasting menu at an amazing restaurant. If you ever get the opportunity to eat at Oceana on 54th Street, go go go. Although odds remain astoundingly good I will spend the evening in the company of a woman, this might be the first Valentine's Day where I will actually be single. So that might be something. D \| 1/25/2005 10:39:03 AM \| 2 comments \| Post your comment


	The Strongbadian RiverQuest Safariventure D \| Monday, January 24, 2005 I need you to believe me when I tell you that absolutely nothing worth blogging about happened today. Instead, you get this - a quote from one of my favorite StrongBad emails. Enjoy. Yeah, it's a pretty unrealistic vision. I'm going to have to start robbing way hot actresses if I ever want to make that vision a reality. But for now, I'll settle for giving tours on The Strongbadian RiverQuest Safariventure. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, my name is StrongBad and welcome to the Strongbadian RiverQuest Safariventure. Please keep your arms, legs, and valuables inside the vehicle at all times and get ready to experience the fury of The Strongbadian Riverboat Super Fun....Ride. And first up on our tour if you look to your right, experience the fury of a big rock that's gong to fall on us. That was a close call, I hope everyone is OK. And if you look up the river, here comes another one of our tour guides, his name is the Cheat, everybody say, "Hi the Cheat." Oh what's that I hear, is it the sound of island drums, oh no its head hunters, everyone stay in the boat, I'll take care of this. Gun shot. Gun shot. Looks like we scared those headhunters, lets hope they don't come back. Well folks, we've made it back safely, did everyone have a good time, good. Please leave your valuables under your seat and exit to your right. Don't forget to experience the fury of... our gift shop. D \| 1/24/2005 10:04:07 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	I'm not alone D \| Sunday, January 23, 2005 Apparently we are called "twixters" and we are all stuck between college and adulthood, yet enjoying every minute of our lives in the mean time. TIME has an amazing article about me and my fellow twixters. (read the entire text on Brad's webpage). I am buying this magazine tomorrow and giving it to my parents to read. I seriously doubt that it will give them any additional insight, but it couldn't hurt. Also, this weekend Kate and went to see the cop-thriller Assault on Precinct 13. I enjoyed the film; all I wanted was for some shit to blow up and that is exactly what happened. But Kate absolutely panned the movie - read her hilarious review here. Beware, if you want to see the movie, her review is spoiler laden. D \| 1/23/2005 11:47:55 PM \| 1 comments \| Post your comment


	OJ in a bucket D \| Saturday, January 22, 2005 Yeah - so what the hell? When I say I want the largest configuration of orange juice possible, like in a bucket, I am not joking around. I say, "I would like a bucket of orange juice." You say, "Yes sir, I'll be more than happy to look into that." Then you go get me a big orange juice, not some regular sized glass - A BIG FUCKING BUCKET. Damn you Bob Evans for charging me for two SMALL glasses of OJ when all I really want is ONE LARGE BUCKET. "Down on the farm"? - my ass - they would have some fucking buckets on a fucking farm. D \| 1/22/2005 01:09:47 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	SpongeBob "out of the closet" D \| Friday, January 21, 2005 I can't begin to tell you how stupid this is... CNN is reporting that some Christian organizations are taking issue with an up-coming children's' music video featuring SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea. Apparently, the video encourages homosexuality in its message of tolerance. Does the American Family Association not understand what it means to be "tolerant"? Give me a break! SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, is a god damn yellow sponge. He is a damn sponge. He floats around and eats hamburgers. If anything, I think we should be worried that the cartoon doesn't ever make one damn bit of sense. Who cares if SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, is the most homosexual sponge in the entire ocean - his show makes no sense. If he were a NASCAR-car-loving-beer-drinking-belch-out-loud heterosexual, his show would continue to make no sense. This is stupid. The things people can do in the name of "God"... And I think whoever wrote this for CNN agrees with me (some quick wited AP reporter who is pissed that he was assigned to cover ridiculous Christian organizations yelling at the moon). Note a few key excerpts. The article has been going on in a very informative tone, and then we get: SpongeBob, who lives in a pineapple under the sea, was "outed" by the U.S. media in 2002 after reports that the TV show and its merchandise are popular with gays. His creator, Stephen Hillenburg, said at the time that though SpongeBob was an oddball, he thought of all the characters in the show as asexual. Also, check out the quote under the SpongeBob picture: SpongeBob lives in a pineapple under the sea What is the author trying to say to us? Perhaps, the Christian right is so out of touch they are raising up arms about a fictional sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. D \| 1/21/2005 03:40:23 PM \| 4 comments \| Post your comment


	Weather Update D Everything in the Nati returned to (almost) normal this morning. Many schools were closed or delayed from yesterday's snow, but the roads were mostly clear and the sun came out. My car door was frozen shut this morning - which was a real pain in the ass - and it was my turn to get bagels for our class, which means I was 10 minutes late for work. But it was all good. Panera makes people happy. As a shout out for all weather men every where (including Ohio where they predicted 1/2 an inch), check out this article on Yahoo!. The weather man was actually embarrassed with his forecasting skills. You should be ashamed, damnit. Granted meteorology isn't an exact science (in a similar class as fellow un-science Sociology) but you guys are were so wrong. As Ash said, "I wish I was a weather man. It's the only job where you can be completely wrong and still keep your job." Be sure to check Ash's other great quote in Quote of the Moment, in the right column. And indeed, I am planning a trip Tressel Country this weekend. Weather may force a cancellation of this trip - I'll keep you posted. D \| 1/21/2005 11:11:36 AM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	Car covered in snow D \| Thursday, January 20, 2005 3-7 inches for Cincinnati before morning. Probably close to 7 at my house. Fun times. ..... One minute you're totally covered, then next you're naked. I love winter time. D \| 1/20/2005 10:10:13 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	It is snowing in the Nati D I'm going to get stuck at work and have to sleep on the floor with a prospectus as a pillow. The weather man said we would only get 1/2 inch. Wow. Idiot... D \| 1/20/2005 07:49:10 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	President Quiz D In honor of today's Presidential Inauguration, I present... The derekwalden.com Lesser-known Presidential Coloring Book Quiz Directions: Number a piece of paper 1-9. Examine the (ridiculous) pictures of each President below. Write the name of each President next to their corresponding number. Post your answers as a comment to this post. You have until Monday morning to complete this assignment. The post with the most correct answers will receive a prize. Good Luck and enjoy. #1. The Phantom of the Opera President #2. I'm Too Sexy for the Camera President #3. Napoleon Wanna-be President #4. Actually Napoleon President #5. Hugh Hefner President #6. I Got a Cowboy Hat President #7. Bookworm President #8. The Capitol Building is Flying Away President #9. In the Company of My Intellectual Peers President D \| 1/20/2005 04:55:13 PM \| 2 comments \| Post your comment


	Gavin DeGraw D \| Wednesday, January 19, 2005 Last night Kate and I went to see Gavin DeGraw at Bogarts. The concert was stunning. Gavin was amazing - he played all his big hits, back to back to back. With a few classic covers inserted here and there, he kept the audience singing along for well over and hour and a half. He actually had his little piano on stage (the guy is a piano player, so I don't really know why that was surprising to me, but it was), so for about half of his numbers he was singing and playing piano Billy Joel style. I swear if he had set a tip jar and a beer on his piano he could have been a young Billy Joel. I would have loved to see some more acoustic guitar work or solo piano work from Gavin, but when the full band was behind him they rocked pretty hard. I encourage anyone to go see him. I paid $20 for my ticket and it was easily worth twice that. D \| 1/19/2005 07:47:23 PM \| 2 comments \| Post your comment


	Lakota starts busing roll-back D \| Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Thanks to two failed levys in the past 10 months, today was the first day of Lakota Local School District's new busing restrictions. All busing for grades 10-12 has been eliminated and most other schools now have a no busing radius of .5 to 1 mile. In a community as traffic packed as West Chester, I think all we need is a couple thousand more angry parents trying to drive their children to school at 7AM. We even made the front page of the Cincinnati Enquirer. As a Lakota alumni, this hits a particular cord with me. But here is my real issue: Why would anyone ever vote down a school levy? You don't want to pay more taxes? Me neither - but these are schools. This is education. We are talking about the intellectual development of the thousands of children. These kids will be the future leaders of our country. Schools should be palaces. I would fork over my Social Security money if it went to funding schools. So, you don't have children? Yeah, but you were a kid once. You got an education. You benefited from the system. Maybe it's because, for the most part, I'm a Democrat and I just love giving away my hard-earned money. And maybe it's because I am young and actually have little to no money. And maybe it's because I just went through school and know how important was to me. But voting NO on a levy for school funding is something I will never understand and never condone. D \| 1/18/2005 03:54:06 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	International debut! D YES! I am so excited. And it is for real this time. My HitMap has catalogued website visits from Canada, Israel, Netherlands, and Sweden (all locations are approximate). This is a big deal for me. Thanks to all my readers and visitors worldwide. Please keep coming back. For fun, if you're reading from anywhere outside of Ohio, please post your location as a comment to this post (even if you don't have a Blogger username you may still post anonymously). Let's see what we get... D \| 1/18/2005 10:22:34 AM \| 2 comments \| Post your comment


	What's the thing about guys like me? D \| Monday, January 17, 2005 I'm at my computer table and Derek is lounging behind me on my couch. He's eating Combos and drinking Budweiser out of a mug. I have a Red Stripe. WEST WING is playing. We've got a plan -- it's an interview blog post. We take turns writing. I start. So we're starting the interview. What the hell did we do today? We ate. We went to some movies. We ate again. Boy you're really bad at this. Alright jackass. It's your fault. I have no creative inspiration. I'm drinking beer out of a mug. A mug. You only have one beverage container in your apartment; I mean I could drink out of a shoe. I choose to spend my money on things I care about like iPods. Well, this has pretty much taken a left turn from where we were trying to go. Oh yes, The Moment. Yes. There was a Moment in the movie. Did you catch it? IN GOOD COMPANY. There were many moments? Right. Sure. Sorry. This one, it's the collective "wow." I think they nailed it. It's like when you're ensorcelled. Simple perfection. When did this happen again in the movie? When Scarlett Johansson comes out of her dorm to see Topher Grace. He's in his Porsche and she walks out. She's all dressed up. That was The Moment. I got the scene, but I'm a little lost. Let me give you an example. Two weeks ago, I went to the movies with Beth. Hot Beth? Hot Beth. She did her hair and wore these boots and jeans. She looked great. And during the previews and I was just looking at her. Then BAM! The Moment hit. It's perfection personified. It's fascination. So I'm just sitting there staring at her for like 3 minutes. Finally, she notices and gives me this look, like "What?" I lean close and pull her head over to me and I whisper in her ear, "You look incredible right now." And she gives me this smile...oh man.... What specifically made you stare at her? Nothing. Nothing? It's nothing and everything. You all of sudden see something you've never seen before and then you just appreciate everything. You sit there and just appreciate it. That's redundant. I'm a redundant guy. Well let me ask you this: Does her being dressed up have something to do with that? No. Example: One night Lisa and I are lying in bed together and she is wrapped in a sheet, in that way only women can do. We had been listening to music and so the computer screen was on. It was throwing light across her face and shoulders in the most amazing way and I just sat there soaking her in, until she notices. She's like, "What is it?" and I can't put this into words, so I say, "You just look amazing...the computer light is just perfect." It was such an amazing moment for me, that really became an inside joke between me and her; that Lisa only looked good in a dark room illuminated by computer light. Well everyone looks good in computer light and candlelight. Right, but that wasn't what it was about. It was about having a moment of perfection that only I noticed. Me seeing her as perfect. That moment just hit home - how she is amazing and just stunningly beautiful. Okay. So it's about noticing something. Ah. Yes. It's a re-evaluation. Yes! A re-evaluation. It's sheer pleasure in rediscovering something you already know you love. It's entire delight, total delightfulness. I don't think you can do that to the English language. Oh, I can do that; I've been known to use words like neglify. Besides, you just plagiarized WEST WING. First of all you can't plagiarize a show. A person, like Aaron Sorkin, sure. But not a show. Second, I think we're getting away from the point. Yes. The Moment. I'm still a little fuzzy about this. You've had this, so I know you know what I am talking about. I know it. You're with a woman, and you look at her one minute and things are normal. Then when you turn back the next time it's like magic. It's totally random. All the sudden, she's perfect. Everything is amazing and she is stunning. Simply beautiful. And I am the only person in the world to know how amazing she is at that very moment. It's like God gave you one perfect moment, and she is it. I got it. Yeah? Yeah! Like about a month ago, Molly and I were having dinner before a Julia Roberts double feature. She was wearing this turtleneck sweater and drinking cider out of a champagne flute. I remember how adult she looked, how beautiful she was. I mean she has always been beautiful to me but this was something else. Is that what this is about? That's what is about. It's totally something else. It's about us recognizing something perfect, for just one fleeting moment. How do they do that? Yeah, I don't know, but it's started snowing. Is it sticking? It's a light dusting of, you know, snow. Kinda sticking. Okay. Does this thing, The Moment, require a relationship? Or at the very least a sexual attraction? So I guess what I am asking is could you have this moment with a woman you are friends with, but are not currently sexually attracted to? I don't think it requires a relationship, but I will concede that there is the smallest difference when you don't want more from the woman. When you're not currently sexually attracted to her. You still get to appreciate her wonder. For example, Kate and I have had The Moment. We've been out and I've recognized that she's perfect, beautiful and amazing. And some day, some man will see what I've seen and snatch her up and never let her go. Got it. You know what the real thing is? What? Don Cheadle is badass. HOTEL RWANDA. Man he's good in that. Totally deserves an Oscar. It's true. But here's my question: How do they do that? No, that's not quite it. I know how they do that because it happens when they stop trying. The question is why it affects us in such a profound way - how do they ensorcel us? Wait, how did you not mention this until now? What? That it's effortless. It happens when they've stopped trying -- when they don't even know it. Yeah, I don't know. But it's true. They stop trying and BAM. Now, this isn't a regular thing -- it's pretty rare -- and thus, incredibly powerful. Agreed. You just see her and it hits you like a ton of bricks. I'm there. But my question is how it works? What is the power they have over us? Women have special powers? Yes. They do have special powers. They do. I'm just saying -- let me just do this: Women have figured it out. Men haven't. Men have to write posts on blogs. Women have figured the thing out. Women know. This whole conversation is going to be humorous to them because they are way smarter than us on this one. They don't know how they do it, they just do it; it's part of their secret society. And they don't think about it, they just do it and don't even know that they are doing it. And they're not going to tell us -- that would take away their power. Why do we completely stop whatever we are doing to stare at them and end up asking, "What the Hell just happened to me?" It's part of their special powers. That's really good. I am totally going for that. And yet, when you make the comment to them, they have this stunned look on their face. Yes. Totally. It's like they don't get it. Why is that? It's like they don't expect it because it is too intimate of a statement. It's not like you are saying, "You look nice today," you are saying, "To me, you're perfect." Beautiful. I think it's just too jarring for anyone to hear something so personal. Even though they know what they're doing, they're surprised when they realize that you've notice that little something amazing. Yeah, I'll go for that too. Women know they have powers. And we're the guys who get to see the thing. We get to see these Moments. It is seriously like a gift from God. So that's it then. That's the thing about guys like us. What's the thing about guys like us? We want to be hit over the head. And we love being one of the few guys who get to see women in those Moments. Damn, those Moments are great. Women should know we love them for this. They know man. They know. D \| 1/17/2005 05:20:29 AM \| 4 comments \| Post your comment


	NYC D \| Saturday, January 15, 2005 I'm in NYC. It's Bernard's birthday. And Delta lost my luggage. My original flight was delayed, then canceled, then I was put on a flight into JFK, and finally into LGA. My luggage ended up in Newark. This morning at 9:30 I finally got my bag. It was a lot like Meet the Parents. More to come later... D \| 1/15/2005 05:03:36 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	You Say It's Your Birthday Bernard \| Friday, January 14, 2005 I turned 27 today. Recently I went to IMDb and checked out who else is born on my birthday. Those who I'm not very psyched about being associated with: LL Cool J, Carl Weathers and Faye Dunaway. The people I'm very happy to share my birthday with: Emily Watson, Maureen Dowd and Steven Soderbergh. Last year I spent my birthday evening with Derek, Jenni and Molly. I had just arrived in New York just a couple weeks before. We went to this restaurant called 360 which is located in an obscure part of Brooklyn. While the food was not altogether fantastic, I remember that the conversation was lively and full of mirth. The ladies looked stunning; Derek and I looked dapper. It was snowing very hard that evening. We were bundled up from head to toe and dressed up underneath. I love that. After this we ran to the one dessert bar in the city--Chikalicious. It's a truly magical place. All white inside and very tiny. And then the night finished with the four of us going our separate ways. A wonderful evening spent with people I care about. This year I decided around Christmas that I didn't want to think about what I should do on my birthday. So I turned to the person I'm closest to--Molly--and asked her to decide for me. And she came through in the clutch. I picked her up from work at 6 and immediately she handed me a piece of paper. This was my first clue. The first event of the evening was linked to the first clue. It read, "Rope Burns." I eventually figured out that we were off to see MILLION DOLLAR BABY. ("Rope Burns" was the working title of the film.) Both Molly and I were excited about seeing this film so we went to the theatre early and got great seats. As we waited for the film to start, she gave me my second clue. It was a one of those fill in the blank sort of things, all song titles of Ben Folds (whose catalogue I have memorized). I discovered we'd be going to Sushi Samba afterward. Molly and I have never had sushi together. She dislikes seaweed. I on the other hand quite enjoy sushi. It is a meal that can only enjoy with others. But the only person I can remember eating sushi with on a regular basis is Derek. We'd go to this place near Times Square and get a couple Sapporo beers and bitch about our love lives. In any case, I was psyched. The film was not so good. The third act was disturbing and I was unprepared for such a downer of a movie on my birthday. The performances were fantastic but the story went to an unexpected and, dare I say, unnatural place. But I don't care because I'm starving and all I could think about was eating. We're at Sushi Samba now which is a hot spot. (It's called Sushi Samba because the food is sushi, but the music playing in the restaurant is samba. Odd pairing? Not so much actually.) But they've lost our reservation and Molly is annoyed. But she revealed a little small clue. The reservation was for three. So now I'm curious. Who could be third person? I had hoped that our evening would just be the two of us and she knew that, so who would she invite? Well after about a half hour we sat and then I saw the special guest star: Derek! I was excited and stunned. He had flown in just for my birthday. What an incredible present. We all drank and ate and had a merry old time. Afterward we went to Serendipity, which is kitschy as you'd expect a place like that to be. Dessert was wonderful but as I've learned any meal is about the company you share it with. I was there with two of my best friends. Can't beat that. Bernard \| 1/14/2005 11:59:58 PM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	New plates D So I really wanted BATMAN (because I am a loser, yeah thanks). I think I might have to settle for this: Test out your own plate name here. Bonus points if anyone can decipher this one: D \| 1/14/2005 11:32:23 AM \| 5 comments \| Post your comment


	Oh, the President... D So I really didn't want to blog about this, but I read a story this morning that I thought only bolstered my position. And besides sharing is so much fun... Everyone knows that yesterday the US concluded its search for WMD. In case you weren't aware, we found jack shit. And that's OK with me because it's not like we used that as one of the main reasons we went to war... Just for fun, check out the Rathergate vs. WMDgate comparison here (hat tip: Brendan). My favorite part is resignations: 4 to 1, and cost to the American tax payer: $0.00 to $150 billion. But today's funny story is from The LA Times, Bush mulls over things he might not say again. My favorite quote from the article, Bush, "I can remember getting back to the White House, and Laura said, 'Why did you do that for?' I said, 'Well, it was just an expression that came out. I didn't rehearse it." Suggesting that the President does in fact "rehearse" some of what comes out of his mouth...? And how many times have I heard that from a women, "What did you do that for (typically followed by "You jackass"). I don't know - although I still have a lot of problems with the President, sitting down and saying, "I probably shouldn't have said that," is a pretty human response. Everybody makes mistakes. Now if he could just fess up to some of the larger mistakes (see No WMDs above). D \| 1/14/2005 09:37:58 AM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	Old clothes D \| Thursday, January 13, 2005 Yesterday I went to Plato's Closet. This is a store that buys and sells the latest looks in "gently used" clothing and accessories from trendy designer labels ("Did you swallow the brochure?" -Charlie, WW). My brother and I cleaned out our closets a few weeks ago and I was just now getting around to trying sell some of our old clothes. So I drop off about 40 items of clothing to this girl behind the counter who probably isn't even old enough to drive. She tells me it will be a minute. Finally, I come back and ask how I did. "Um, yeah, I think we are going to pass on all of this." -girl behind the counter, said in the most you-are-old-and-totally-not-cool and I-am-a-popular-cheerleading-Valleygirl-highschool-drama-queen way I think this just confirms that I am not cool. Oh, drats. Life as I know it is over. D \| 1/13/2005 10:26:26 AM \| 0 comments \| Post your comment


	Mario Music D \| Wednesday, January 12, 2005 A musician calling himself The Blindfolded Pianist has translated the entire Mario Bros soundtrack into sheet music. Check it out here. Yes indeed, the Nintendo game music. I've read the music and it seems dead on. This is so dumb it's cool. Anyone who can read music should check this out. I started with the Main Theme. (Hat tip: Boing Boing) D \| 1/12/2005 10:01:13 AM \| 2 comments \| Post your comment


	Reflections on Women - #1 The Casual Relationship D \| Tuesday, January 11, 2005 As the delay in posting should indicate, I have been working on this post for a while. And since this is my first Reflections of Women post, I want it to be a good one. Something to start off the series with a bang. I've written a few versions and I really didn't like any of them for any number of different reasons: I was not being honest, trying to be too nice, sounding too analytical, worrying about what certain people would think, dancing around the issues, rambling, etc. Eventually I said, "Screw it" - I cut out all the crap and tried to capture my entire topic in one paragraph: Based on where I am in my life, I want a casual sexual/romantic relationship. I consider this a relationship with limited commitment and almost entirely without drama, but still retaining the typical intimacy that a partner can bring. Past experiences have led me to believe that this is nearly impossible because one partner, typically the woman, develops additional feelings. These feelings ultimately cause the relationship to build drama and this negates the main benefit of entering into this type of relationship. Nonetheless, I think men and women can enjoy a casual relationship together if both parties have the same goals and both parties are honest as the relationship progresses. That is basically the nuts and bolts of it - the rest of this is just me talking to myself... Yeah, sure, great, but can men and women actually have a casual sexual relationship? I hope they can or this whole pursuit is an exercise in fantasy. I think they can - but the goals have to be the same and honesty is key. If one person starts having feelings that aren't reciprocated, there is no way to continue in "casual land." Doesn't the sex just ruin everything? Sometimes. Typical sex lore espouses that women gain more of an emotional attachment due to sex than their male counterparts. I don't know where this came from or if it is scientific fact, but I generally believe it to be true. This is why I suggested earlier that women develop those "additional feelings" first. I think they actually want the casual relationship, they just kind of "default out." All this is not to say a man can't fall for the woman first (I have) but I think this is atypical. Is this really a good idea? Aren't you just hurting a bunch of people while you search for something inside yourself, you lost confused little man? No and Yes. I try to be honest and straight-forward in the things I want and the things I am willing to give. I think the women understand what I want and what I am willing to give. But I still end up hurting people. That sucks. As for what I am searching for (or running from)...I don't know, it could be so many things. Why not just date someone? Commitment-phobia much? I like where I am in my life and I am enjoying being single and reveling in the freedom that entails. Very much. But, let me be perfectly clear - if someone absolutely captivating comes along, I have no qualms about entering into an exclusive relationship. But it would have to fall into my lap. I am not out pursuing a commitment, thus I don't expect to find one. On top of that, there is a real debate if my current goals are possible in even the most committed of relationships. Please explain. This should be good... My friend Beth put it well when she said she didn't know if she could have a committed relationship without drama. Drama just naturally flows from the committed relationship, like millions of gallons of crude oil pouring out the Exxon Valedez into the Gulf of Alaska (my skills with analogy remain unrivaled). Maybe that just comes with the territory. Maybe it is something you open yourself up to in a committed relationship. Given that view, the only place I could ever find a no-drama relationship is in "casual land." Hot Beth is probably right. Relationships don't work in this "casual" way. It is work, and drama, and hard - there is no way around it. I don't have a problem with work in a relationship. I think good relationships requires work. But drama is not what I want right now. So basically you want all the good things women bring to your life without any of the bad things? That is the way it looks, yes, and I could see where you would say that. Honestly, I don't mind the bad stuff. Women are interesting and complicated and difficult and stubborn and opinionated and many other things some people might consider "bad." All those things I enjoy. All I really don't want is the stupid stuff - the jealous stuff, the crying stuff, the yelling stuff, the high-school drama stuff. You're an idiot. Without question. And what type of woman would fall for a guy who loves Star Wars anyway? You're that guy in the glass house who does the thing with the rocks. I'm not responding to that... Well fine, I'm moving on. OK. *Knowing you, as I do, what sort of plan are you hatching to accomplish these "casual" goals?* Let me present my scheme-of-the-week. To facilitate my newest dating strategy, I am starting my very own dating service called It's Just Sex. For those of you who are not familiar, I stole this idea from an actual dating service called It's Just Lunch. The premise is that busy professionals, with no time to search for a date, can submit their information and be placed with a compatible partner for a lunch date. If you don't like the other person, then hey, "It's just lunch." It's Just Sex would operate on a similar premise - hooking up men and women who are attracted to each other for sexual gratification. This would be at the absolute extreme casual end of the relationship spectrum. I don't even know I would sing-up, but I think this is a valuable service I could help provide. As a side note, itsjustsex.com is porn, so heads up - my dating service would have to be .org or .net. Possibly .edu? Wow, I'm just going to reiterate the idiot comment. I never liked you very much.... D \| 1/11/2005 07:46:48 PM \| 23 comments \| Post your comment


	Conservative judges D I thought this article was interesting (although I know absolutely no one else will read it). It is a Harvard Law School Professor writing about the rationale used by conservative judges. Turns out it is just a bunch of legal hooey. I knew it! Interesting, I thought. On a scarier note, this article starts out by reminding readers that Bush will probably appoint the next Chief Justice. I think even Bush supporters should be worried about that. Well, we elected him (I use the collective "we"). What is that line from West Wing about Will championing the voters that Josh can't stand?