Making life worth living
D | Monday, November 29, 2004

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Bernard, I was honored to have you accept a guest spot. Feel free to come back anytime you want. The offer still stands for others to have the same opportunity as Bernard, just email me.

In response to Bernard's final post, here is my list. I encourage everyone who reads this website to think about their own list and share with all of us.


My things that make life worth living

Cross examinations, beer and pizza, a well-worn baseball cap, Star Wars, sex anywhere but in a bed, Fall, confidence, backpacking, dreaming big, long winter coats and high heeled black leather boots (for her), a small group of close friends, campfires, the chase, "Derek Walden shaped holes", the feel of a new suit, apple pie, Ohio State football Saturdays, classical music played by a good marching band, West Wing followed by The Law and Order drinking game, dogs, lingerie (again, for her), a V-6 on a hairpin turn, the love of my family, power, and that look only a woman can give...

D | 11/29/2004 01:47:37 AM | 5 comments |   Post your comment

My Last Guest Spot...Until The Next Time
Bernard | Sunday, November 28, 2004

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Celebrity Encounters of the First Kind

One of the perks of living in the greatest city in the world is that I see celebrities all the time. Now most celebrities are not all that impressive to me. Claire Danes doesn't leave me star struck, but someone like Hope Davis gets me all flustered. When I see someone I admire, I mean truly admire, then something happens to my brain that shorts my brain and any semblance of intelligence. Here are a couple of examples.

Example #1
I'm at my dry cleaner and all of a sudden a medium sized black dog walks up to me and I hear a voice behind me, one that I recognize, say "Come back here." I turn around and there stands Patricia Clarkson. Now I'm frozen. A million things are happening. I'm trying not to fall down even though I'm standing still. "Don't look like an idiot. She's one of your favorite actors. You've seen all of her films. You know her date of birth. (I have a freakish memory for shit like that so stop mocking me.) She's dating Campbell Scott, who you are also a huge fan of. You can't wait for her new film THE DYING GAUL to come out. Don't make an ass of yourself." But I don't want to freak her out. I'm a fan, but I don't want her thinking I'm a stalker. So I have to deal with the situation very carefully. And for some reason I decide to just say one thing completely unrelated to anything that's going on in my head. And as normal as I could I calmly blurted out, "That's a nice dog you got there." All she responded with was, "Thanks." And then I left the dry cleaner feeling like an idiot.

Example #2
So after seeing THE 24 PLAYS on 13 September 2004, I saw Sam Rockwell on his cell phone on the stoop a few doors down from where I just saw him perform. And as he hangs up I decide I should tell him I think he's fucking fantastic. So I go up to him and tell him just that. He shakes my hand and says thank you. I continue on by mentioning that I thought his performances in BOX OF MOONLIGHT and WELCOME TO COLLINWOOD were killer and then it happened. I lost my train of thought. Just the biggest brain fart. So I just do what I always do when I'm in an uncomfortable situation with a celebrity, I bring up something that makes no sense.
"So in 2000, I saw TRUE WEST...which of course you weren't in...but you were in the audience that night."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
And then I walked away awkwardly and just accepted the fact that Sam Rockwell would never work with me. Ever.



Things That Make Life Worth Living

Have any of you seen MANHATTAN? A fantastic film by Woody Allen. At the end of it, Woody Allen lists things that make life worth living. It's a really beautiful moment. I encourage all of you to respond to this post by listing those things that you feel make life worth living. So here are mine...Parma prosciutto, Panna water, the ending of BIG NIGHT, a Monte Cristo No. 1 cigar, directing, Game 7s, Ben Folds, WEST WING Seasons 1-4, late night conversations with Molly that last forever, writing with Nick, Perkin's peanut butter silk pie, Charlie Rose interviews, making someone smile, tuna tartare, ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, unexpected gifts, a woman in nothing but an oxford shirt, an unsolicited backrub, William H. Macy, live theatre, genuine laughter and films from Paul Thomas Anderson and Wes Anderson.

In the tradition of great Special Guest Stars, I've decided to leave abruptly. Much like Mary-Louise Parker on THE WEST WING (although I see myself much more like Josh and Derek would be Sam, but I'm getting off topic) I'll disappear for a while only to reappear for May sweeps when the ratings count. I might come in for a brief appearance every now and again, but this is the last time I'm posting on Derek's blog for a while. I'm a firm beliver in the Law of Diminishing Returns and I want my audience wanting more. If you've had half as much fun reading it as I've had writing it, then I've had twice as much fun writing it as you've had reading it.

Thanks again Derek for this opportunity.

Bernard | 11/28/2004 04:39:53 PM | 2 comments |   Post your comment

SIDEWAYS
Bernard

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I've seen it three times in the theatre. Now in Ohio that's not a record, but here in New York City, going to the movies is an expensive proposition. A ticket can come close to $11. So for me, a film nut, to see the same film over and over in New York City is a big deal.
I love this movie for many reasons. Not the least of which is that the first time I saw it, it reminded me so much of Derek and I that I called him immediately afterward to tell him just that. The film is beautiful. A work of art. The performances are stunning. The director/co-writer Alexander Payne cast this film so perfectly it's sick. When the likes of Edward Norton, Johnny Depp and George Clooney all wanted the part of Jack, he stood his ground and cast Thomas Hayden Church. Puzzling? Yes. That is until you see the performance that Church gives. It's textured, funny and moving. And it's his part. Church may not be the best actor on the planet, but he's the perfect Jack and his chemistry with Paul Giamatti is ridiculous. Pepper in two wonderful female performances from Sandra Oh and Virginia Madsen and you've got a film that is quite simply the best thing to hit screens in a long time. And I should know, I see an awful lot of films.
Someone once wrote that "an audience goes to see a film to see themselves" and I couldn't agree more. I found myself watching Paul Giamatti's Miles and wondering if this was my fate as well. He punctures a truly intimate moment with a woman he likes in the most awkward way. This is my plight. If I had a dime for every time I did that, I'd have a shitload of dimes. Just ask Derek or Jenni.
And Miles is an unpublished novelist which truly depresses me. What is in store for me? Will I be the writer/director I always envisioned? Or will life take over and change things for me without my approval?

Bernard | 11/28/2004 03:06:34 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Quote of the Day
D

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A great night spent in the company of all my best friends from highschool generated this particular Quote of the Day. Uncle Cracker's remake of "Drift Away" comes on the radio in Applebees...

Meredith: Hey, who sings the original?
D: Ummm, CCR maybe?
Mike: Bob Seger.*
D: That's it.*
Maria: The Full House Guy?


*Ironically, we were only partially correct. Drift Away was originally written by a man named Mentor Williams and originally performed by R&B artist Dobie Gray. It came out in 1973, and was his only real claim to fame, a one hit wonder, if you will. Remakes have been performed by bands such as Bob Seger, The Rolling Stones, The Doobie Brothers, Bon Jovi, Aaron Neville, Micheal Bolton, and now Uncle Cracker.

D | 11/28/2004 02:03:19 AM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

My Thanksgivings
Bernard | Saturday, November 27, 2004

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So I had two Thanksgivings. The second one occurred on Thursday and involved me drinking heavily in my apartment while eating macaroni and cheese. (I did treat myself by adding some capers for the special occasion.)

The first happened a week ago. And it was not spent with my family. (My parents, in particular my mother, are very irritated that I am not going to be going home for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. But this is for another post on a different day.) I spent it with Molly's family. To explain to my loyal readers who Molly is in my life would be almost impossible. To put it simply, she's my touchstone. You know that person that you need to maintain contact with or your emotional center shifts? That's Molly for me. I love her so much my heart hurts.

So the event started with the OSU vs. Michigan game. I went with my friend Cherish (who decided to come up and surprise me from Cleveland on a whim) to a bar on the Upper East Side of Manhattan called Blondie's. There we met up with Molly's father Fred, her uncle Spark, her brother Danny and her brother's friend Steve. So it's the six of us in this bar full of rabid OSU fans drinking pitchers upon pitchers of Miller Lite. It was important to me that I do well in this situation. This is Molly's family and at least for the day, my family. And while it may not seem apparent by looking at me, I know my sports. I'm not a nut or anything, but I can talk a good game. Men will tell you that drinking will make you closer to other men faster than any other activity. Add sports into that and it's a bond that cannot be broken. I needed to do well. And three hours later, Fred (now he was insisting on my calling him Fred...you can see that bonding is happening right?), Spark, Danny, Steve and Cherish and I were celebrating OSU's victory. Beer, shots and bar food swirled in our stomachs as we went back to Molly's apartment. Thanksgiving dinner was upon us.

So this was the part I was a little nervous about. At Thanksgiving dinner there would be a bunch of people I wouldn't know and I'm not good with new people. Molly and Molly's roommate Claudia invited a total of 20 people to this feast and I knew less than half of them. Not a place I'd put myself normally. But I was determined to get to know Molly's family so I used this opportunity to hang out with the two members of her family that I hadn't hung out with all day, her aunt Carol and her mother Joan. As I helped stir the gravy, I became chummy with both of these women. I was doing well. Joan is a funny woman. I've hung out with her before and I think she finds me charming enough. What's strange is that the more I hang out with Joan I get a truer sense of where Molly came from. For example: the hitting. Both will hit you if they find what you are saying funny or slightly offensive. It's their way of showing affection. I was getting hit a lot on Saturday.

Dinner was delightful. I sat next to Joan and she told me about this idea she has for a documentary that she thinks Molly and I should do. I carefully nodded as I drank wine and methodically ate turkey and rutabaga (my first time). After dinner, I went up to Fred and asked if he wanted to take a smoke break. I had bought some cigars for him and I wanted to enjoy one at this moment. He agreed and he broke out the Monte Cristo No. 1s that I had brought. We lit up and it felt so good. I love cigars. And now I was enjoying one with Fred. I felt like I was part of the family.

But with any good feeling that comes with a family event, that warm feeling I had inside of me had to go away. So I'm enjoying my cigar and Carol is sitting on the stoop in the foyer with me. I like Carol. She's a wonderful woman and has a neat laugh. I had gone out of my way to learn about her two girls and about her and Spark. They met while in college while he was on the soccer team and she was the statistician for the team. In any case, I wanted to know about the conversation when she asked him out. So we're sitting there. She with her Pepsi, me with my cigar and I ask her to tell me the story about how they met. I love details and I was hoping for more than what I already knew. She rebuffed me at first but then negotiated for a bit of information about myself. "Ask me anything. I'm an open book," I declared as I attempted to blow a smoke ring. I should have know better. Spark who was standing a few feet away turns and asks, "So Bernard, what's your sexual preference?" I'm stunned. Many things are going through my head. If I answer too quickly, then it'll look like I'm covering up for something. If I answer too slowly, then it looks like I needed time to think about my response and that's fishy. So I decided to use a third option. I called Cherish in from the outside where all the cigarette smokers are and asked Spark to repeat his question. Cherish, who has known me for a couple of years, starts laughing at the absurdity of the question. "He's straight. He's very straight." And then I blurt out, "I'm exceptionally straight." As soon as I say it, I'm thinking, "What the hell does that mean?" Do I only wear jeans and sweatshirts and watch ESPN incessantly? What the hell? So that hung with me all night.

Bernard | 11/27/2004 02:46:53 PM | 2 comments |   Post your comment

Why I Decided To Do This or My First Guest Spot
Bernard

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A few posts ago, Derek casually berated me for not having my own blog. I had written a response that I never got to post, but it was essentially about how I believe that having your own public forum to write, while initially fascinating, doesn't interest me. I take words seriously. Words are my currency. (Also I think I'm the worst writer of all my friends...people like Nick, Margo or Chris Dickman have much more natural ability. I have to work much harder at it. I have a chip on my shoulder, I'll admit it.) My hope is that I can become a great storyteller. That is different from being a great writer. Your grandfather is a great storyteller; Raymond Carver is a great writer. The difference is simple. Writers have to remain objective while great storytellers weave their tales from a certain perspective and everything they tell you is colored from that viewpoint. I'd rather be a storyteller than a writer.

To paraphrase a great actor I once shook hands with, "You're only as good as you are that day." To maintain a certain level of literary intelligence day in and day out is near impossible. Few can perform at that level in their profession on a consistent basis. It's what makes people like Michael Jordan and William H. Macy so fucking good. (That's right I put those two in the same sentence, you got a problem with that? I'm the Special Guest Blogger and I'm drunk with power. Drunk I say!) Earlier today, Derek and I were kicking around the idea of my being the Special Guest Blogger. I liked the sound of it. You know like in television...Special Guest Star. (There's something about being elevated above the Guest Stars (losers)). And then I started thinking that while I couldn't maintain literary brilliance for an extended amount of time, I thought I could attempt to for a couple of days. So I agreed. I promise to my audience nothing more than this: I'll try to keep things entertaining. (At least I'll make less spelling errors than Derek does.)

Time to reminisce

I met Derek in February of 2000. He was a freshman at OSU and I was a directing my first play. (Actually this was my first directing venture. Thinking back I either had the biggest set of balls or a brain aneurysm.) In any case, I attempted to mount a theatre production of HAMLET with limited resources and failed in almost all the categories you can fail in. And out of the catastrophe that was HAMLET, I got one good thing out of it and that was Derek. (If you ask Derek, he thinks that this production was quite good. Maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was, but it sure wasn't a rousing success by my standards.) He and I met during the auditioning process. Right when he walked in, I could see something sort of interesting about him. He was self assured. He was apologetic about being late (even though he wasn't). He even tried to get me to sign up for the Mock Trial Team which he had just founded. What really got me was that he was among the youngest people that had auditioned for me and yet I never would have thought that. He had listed three roles he would be willing to perform...Hamlet, Laertes and Horatio. In that order. I remember that he thought he could play Hamlet because "he's a guy my age...I can relate." And he wanted the Laertes part because he "always wanted to be in a cool sword fight." He was the least interested in the part of Horatio, but it was the part that I thought he'd fit best. I love the character of Horatio...he's my favorite in all of literature. And if I was an actor I would have attempted to direct and play that part, but alas I'm not and thank God, because that meant I could give that part to Derek. And he was pretty good. Very supportive of me, which on this production was not the popular choice, but our work relationship gave way to a true and lasting friendship.

Bernard | 11/27/2004 01:33:02 AM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Special Guest Blogger
D | Friday, November 26, 2004

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Derekwalden.com is proud to announce that later today we will host our first Special Guest Blogger, Mr. Bernard F. Bunye.

The management, technical support crew, and entire staff of derekwalden.com (i.e. me, me, and me) welcome Mr. Bunye and his unique sense of humor. We look forward to forming a long and lasting internet-blogging-relationship accentuated with deep thoughts, movie reviews, and interesting stories from life in NYC.

We are confidant Mr. Bunye's words will bring intriguing perspectives with much hilarity to these few pages along the information super highway which in turn will surely spread joy and warmth into the homes of all our readers this holiday season in which we currently find ourselves with the presents and the shopping and the driving and the honking and the lines and the yelling and the put down that fuckin' Tickle Me Elmo you fat cow I saw it first.

We hope you enjoy Mr. Bunye and his talents.

Happy Holidays,
D
CEO, derekwalden.com


PS: To all those aspiring Bloggers (who don't have their own web-page), feel free to drop our webmaster a line and request your own Special Guest Appearance on derekwalden.com.

D | 11/26/2004 03:36:16 PM | 14 comments |   Post your comment

Happy Thanksgiving!
D | Thursday, November 25, 2004

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Mine was spent in the company of my family (even Pat). We had all the standard fixins. It was really quite peaceful and enjoyable. Maybe as more time passes, we will get better at having family gatherings. I can only imagine what these meals will look like 10 years from now...

In honor of Thanksgiving, I found a funny picture of a turkey online. Enjoy the quick anatomy lesson.


In other news, the polls have closed on The Race To Be The Guy Who Replaces Colin Powell, Derekwalden.com's Super Special Secretary of State Election 2004. Derekwalden.com is ready to predict the winner as Alex Ho of Indiana. As forecasted by this network, Mr. Ho won in a nail-bitter of an election. High Ficus voter turnout left Mr. Ho with 12 votes and 52% of the popular vote and Mr. Ficus with 11 votes and 48%. This specific poll set a derekwalden.com record among voter turnout with an impressive 23 registered votes.

Those citizens in favor the IOM, or Inanimate Object Movement, appear disappointed that their candidate has lost another close race. "This is a good fight, and we will continue to push until a plant or book or other non-living item is elected. This is about equality," said "SOS Ficus" Chairman Bradley Miller. The Ho camp was excited and optimistic for the coming term. "We think BIG AL can really turn this country around. Who better to lead us than a short, Asian-American, ice dancer who jumps medians in rental cars? I mean come on, a plant? Lets get real people, Al kicked that plant's green little ass," said an anonymous source close to the candidate.

D | 11/25/2004 09:59:47 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Three posts...
D

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Three posts today. Be sure to read them all.

#1- Photo Journalism

#2- Brianna and the AT

And finally...

#3. Darth Vader is calling to wake me up. At 11AM on Friday morning, I expect a personal phone call from the Dark Lord of the Sith himself to encourage me to get out and shop. "Derek, your lack of shopping disturbs me...Go to Target and buy some shit." Visit Target.com and get a wake-up call of your own.

D | 11/25/2004 01:50:12 AM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

AT Book Titles
D

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I want to hike the Appalachian Trail. Brianna and I have been discussing this topic. Read this first, then read this, then come back and read this post.

From the home offices in West Chester, Ohio tonight's Top Ten List:

Top Ten Working Titles for Brianna and Derek's book about spending five months hiking the Appalachian Trail together* **

10. War and Peace II
9. Seven Habits of Un-Successful AT Thru Hikers
8. More Pride and much more Prejudice
7. Dehydrated Grapes of Wrath
6. A Tale of Two Hikers
5. Brianna Potter and The Backpacker's Stove
4. Walden (and Friend)
3. Lord and Lady of the Flies
2. The Idiots Guide to Hiking the AT with your sworn enemy and barely living to tell about it
1. A Farewell to Armani



*Excluding Brianna's initial suggestion of the boy scout and the bitch: on the trail
**Rejected titles included: Not So Great Expectations, Brianna's Adventures in Wonderland, LA Director and 'nati Lawyer in the Wheat, One Half Year of Solitude, Portrait of the Artist as a Wilderness Explorer, The Old Man and The Film Student, 2,200 Miles under a state of Duress, and Another Odyssey

D | 11/25/2004 01:39:48 AM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Photo Journalism
D | Wednesday, November 24, 2004

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D | 11/24/2004 11:35:14 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Sorry
D | Tuesday, November 23, 2004

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Sorry for the lack of posts recently. I am a bum and I know it. Here's a appology to all my dedicated readers (Brianna) who have been missing my horrible sense of humor and without rants about nothing in particular. To make it up to you, here is a rant about nothing in particular.

If something is timeless, in a casual sense, then it is priceless or extremely valuable, ie "diamonds are forever." It could also be something which seems endure the test of time: a timeless beauty. It could also be something that has no defined place in time. But what does it mean to be truly timeless, to be without time. There is little I can imagine that has no "time" other than a diety figure... which brings me to my question. Where/when, or more importantly how, does something does exist without time?

God (substitute your personal spiritual being) is often said to be infinite, or without time. But how can anything be without time? How is this possible? Does this mean a seperate plane of existance? Does this mean living "outside" of time, ie looking into a realm which posses time? Or does this mean, as Einstein postulated, that the being exists at the speed of light, because the closer something gets to the speed of light, the slower the relative passage of time. Is God flying around the universe at the speed of light? What does it mean, to you, for something to be without time?

D | 11/23/2004 08:24:49 PM | 2 comments |   Post your comment

A winning season
D | Saturday, November 20, 2004

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OSU 37 - Michigan 21


Celebrating victory on the 20 yard line.


Also a sincere word of praise for another big rivalry game: Here's to the Havard football team - congratulations on an unbeaten season concluding with the absolute destruction those arrogant jerks from Yale (a 35-3 Havard victory). Well done Crimson.

D | 11/20/2004 08:04:11 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Quote of the Day
D | Thursday, November 18, 2004

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Are you kidding, she could wear the garter from my wedding as a tube-top.
-My supervisor, Jess, commenting on the vast disparity in size between herself and our co-worker Stephanie

Also, since it was suggested that I shouldn't post this picture, please enjoy a picture I call, Carol and Stephanie playing with their hair while bored at work. Told you I would post it.

D | 11/18/2004 05:47:42 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

These are my friends...?
D | Wednesday, November 17, 2004

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Bradley - bitching about Christmas starting in October. It's a holiday where you get presents; I think we should have it every month. I want a pony.

Alex - so worked up about law school, he thinks he should be the next SOS. What the Hell dude? If "Shrub, Jr." were to choose anyone from the millions who didn't vote for him, it would be me. And if not me, then the Ficus. And if not the plant, the turkey.

Jen - finally thinking clearly. Be a wedding planner and practice law as a "hobby." Awesome. This is now my new carrer goal: a National Park Ranger who "on the side" dabbles in property law with North American black bears who adversely possess local caves. Thanks J.

Kate - the only one with a post worth reading twice. Thanks for writting about the important stuff Kate. I think we all feel your words.

Bernard - where is your blog you fool? Look how un-cool you are. Even Lisa, who NEVER updates, is cooler than you. BTW everyone, Brianna's life in LA is still really entertaining reading....

D | 11/17/2004 06:02:00 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Two Questions
D | Monday, November 15, 2004

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Two quick questions:

1. Why is Bush's cabinet slowly resigning one by one? He has lost 6 of 15. Those are not good odds. I think if I try hard enough, maybe I can get a spot on the new Bush Cabinet. I can see it now... I just sit him down and I get it from him. I get it from him, yes...President Bush, isn't it true you want Derek Walden as your new Sec. of State? Nnnnnn, I'm sorry what do we have for the losers judge? Well, for the remainder of the cabinet its another four years in a Bush presidency, and for Colin Powell, that's right it's freedom. After spending a long and prosperous career in dedicated military service, Colin Powell will now tour the lecture circuit making $50,000-75,000 an event. Now should we or should we not, all choose to resign our galactically stupid cabinet positions? ALSO, I have a barn. We could told the cabinet meetings there, I could sew the costumes, maybe Condi Rice could be the judge.

2. What does "Vote the Bible" mean? I have seen this message in banner and bumper sticker form and I have no idea what it means. This reminds me of the "which child to pick up first" line... (Q and A) oh geez. But seriously, does this mean vote for Jesus cause I didn't see his name on the ballot (perhaps he was a write-in?), does this mean vote conservatively, does this mean anti-abortion or anti-gay marriage? I asked my Dad, a pretty religious fellow, what this mean and he didn't know either. I have no problems with the Bible (well some, but those are irrelevant to this discussion) and I don't even have a problem with someone choosing to "Vote the Bible," but lets make bumper stickers with clear and concise messages. If you're anti-gay marriage, why not just get a bumper sticker that says, "The Bible says gays are going to Hell. I vote in accordance with this view. You should too."

D | 11/15/2004 10:17:43 PM | 1 comments |   Post your comment

Lazy Sunday
D | Sunday, November 14, 2004

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Today was a quiet Sunday. I haven't had one of those in a long time.

I literally lay around all day, watching TV or movies, playing board games, and generally relaxing in the company of a good friend.* For lunch we ordered a pizza and ate it outside on a bench. We took a walk around a great little neighborhood and went to the grocery store for ice cream (she's lactose intolerant, so really that was just for me).

I know I could say how wonderful things are here and how much I love this life style versus that life style, but I think I am going to save everyone the time.

It was just a quiet Sunday.



*Editor's Note: Although I recently promised the President I would continue to strive for accuracy with the English language, I don't care which "lay" is proper for this specific instance. I believe I need the past tense of lie, as in to reclined or be situated (not laid, as in to put, place, or prepare). I think it is "lay," but honestly I don't care. Lay down, tell a lie, got laid - I probably did all of those things on this particular Sunday, so lets split the difference, make up a word, "layed," and call it a day. Nonetheless, I am sure one of you will correct me regardless of this suggestion not to bother.

D | 11/14/2004 11:44:01 PM | 1 comments |   Post your comment

Thomas Crown Affair III
D | Saturday, November 13, 2004

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Review: After the Sunset

The best thing about this movie was the fact that I can now buy my concession stand items directly from the automated ticket purchase machine in the lobby. That part was cool.

It wasn't a terrible movie; if it is something you want to see, rent it on DVD when it comes out in a few months. The spy-super-sleuth crime heist stuff was ok, not great like Bond, nor even good like Thomas Crown. The humor was slap-stick and kinda random. There were some moments when I laughed out loud, but they were few and far between.

The thing that got me was the writing. It was pretty poor. There seemed to be great potential there, but it never materialized. I think the back-and-forth relationship between Brosnan and Harrelson is intended to sell the film, but it just didn't do it for me. I never bought into it the way I buy the good guy/bad guy relationship in Goldfinger or Heat or really any other cop/criminal drama. Also, in Crown, we believe the love affair between the male and female leads - we see the tension and it keeps us watching. Brosnan and Hayek have some chemistry, but I don't really care whether they stay together or not. On a high note, the film did little to disguise the blatant display of Selma Hayek's best assets, so that was a plus.

Overall rating: C

D | 11/13/2004 09:47:20 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

When it rains, it pours
D | Friday, November 12, 2004

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My job search - I don't ever write about this topic because nothing good ever happens in this realm of my life. So right off the bat, this post is rare. As a warning, high-minded debate this post is not. Just me being excited about me.

One reason I have recently been looking favorably upon going back to law school is this: finding a job BLOWS. Talk about banging your head against a wall. In a truly mind-numbing fashion, I have been sending out resumes for the past six months to everyone and their brother (if you haven't received your copy, it is probably in the mail). I have sent out approximately 100 resumes, been interviewed by 3 or 4 different staffing agencies, had 6 or 7 in-person interviews, endured 3 or 4 call-back interviews, and held down at least 2 separate jobs. With all that, I still have no "real job." I now believe searching for a job is comparable the "hurry up and wait" that happens at the airport, i.e. this job looks great, hurry up and mail in resume, hear nothing, wait, random phone call, get interview, complete interview, hear nothing, wait, call them, position has been filled, rinse and repeat. Amazingly, this endless stream of hopefulness immediately followed by rejection has done little to dampen my spirits about taking time off from law school and returning home.

But today was better. When it rains it pours. In 24 hours:

One job interview for legal assistant position in large investment firm. STATUS: NOT SELECTED
One job offer doing the same type of job I am in now, but with better company getting more money and benefits. STATUS: ACCEPTED, TO BEGIN NOV. 29
One upcoming job interview for a law firm downtown as a full-time paralegal. STATUS: PENDING, BUT HOPEFUL
One inquiry as to availability from the US Atty office for full-time legal assistant position. STATUS: CONFUSED, BUT HOPEFUL


Every time I get rejected from another job, my Mom always says, "I admire your fortitude." Having a working definition in my head, yet impressed with the kindergarten teacher's word choice, I looked it up tonight to see if she was using the word properly.

for-ti-tude: n. Strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity with courage

She is right; since coming home, my fortitude has guided me. And now, hopefully, it is begining to pay off.

D | 11/12/2004 08:27:49 PM | 1 comments |   Post your comment

Here's to...
D | Wednesday, November 10, 2004

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To the amazing women in my life, here's to you:
Here's to not beating around the bush. Here's to recognizing something amazing in someone else. Here's to showing affection. Here's to one perfect night. Here's to saying what you mean. Here's to remembering. Here's to being honest and straightforward. Here's to opening up and allowing someone in. Here's to laughing out loud. Here's to having conversations without bullshit and pretense. Here's to embracing our eccentricities. Here's to asking the tough question. Here's to not running away from the tough question. Here's to allowing things to just be. Here's to being OK with who you are. Here's to working towards becoming something more.

And here's to busting a big fucking hole in the wall of the shower.

I am more happy with my life now than I can recall being in a long time. Thanks to those of you who helped me find this place. Here's to you.

D | 11/10/2004 11:56:13 PM | 1 comments |   Post your comment

SW III Teaser Trailer
D | Monday, November 08, 2004

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The teaser trailer for Star Wars Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith has made its debut.



I am a huge dork and I am ok with that. (On a side note - shockingly, so are all the women I've dated... apparently, and completly unknown to me, the Star-Wars-like dorkness and ridiculous Boy-Scouting-nerdom are the personality traits that get them to fall for me, not my initial smooth, polished, womanizing, cad-ish-ness. Who knew? Not me.)

The teaser is awesome! My standard repetative frame by frame analysis gives me great hope that this movie will properly fullfill its role as the darkest of the entire trilogy. Even if you don't like Star Wars, you should go watch it. It looks fabulous. This dork is ready for May.

D | 11/08/2004 05:46:47 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Pic Update
D | Sunday, November 07, 2004

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A few quick pics before the full Weekend Update.



This is me working one of the rappelling sites on Saturday at Hocking Hills. Going over is Steve, the troop Senior Patrol Leader.



I've been meaning to post this picture for a while now; this is the view from my seat for OSU home football games. High? Yes. Section 5A, where I am acostomed to sitting? No. But I still love every minute of it.

D | 11/07/2004 05:43:19 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Open Letter to The President
D | Thursday, November 04, 2004

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Dear Mr. President,
As an voting and tax paying citizen of our great nation I was interested in exercising one of my rights. I am writing to you, as one of my elected officials, in order to express some of my concerns about the upcoming four years regarding the office of the Presidency and the future of the United States of America.

Since I can appreciate you are a busy man, I will keep my comments brief and on topic. I am also of the mind that I should never ask more of any leader than I myself am willing to do. Thus, the constructive criticism I now share with you I hope to embrace in my own life as well.

Concern #1: The English Language - I have no gift for spelling, I write relatively poorly, and I often make up words on the spot. These are problems I feel we have in common. I would ask you to join me in continuing to work towards a more proficient use of the English language. I appreciate your "folksy charm" and "average-man appeal" but I want my President's words to inspire greatness, to rouse the soul, and to raise the level of debate. You are the "Leader of the Free World" and accordingly, you should come across as educated and competent. When it comes to my own communication skills, I refuse to accept mediocrity and continue to work for improvement - I hope you will choose to do the same.

Concern #2: Religion - Your beliefs and your faith have made you the man you are today and have guided your moral decision making. Although we disagree on many issues of faith, I respect your religious convictions and hope you respect mine as well. Nonetheless, I fear we as Americans are on a path to becoming more closed minded on issues founded in religious and moral beliefs: abortion, stem-cell research, and gay marriage to name a few. I don't know where our country's founders intended to draw the line between religion and government-it is truly a question for greater minds. Yet as we seek to clarify that line, let us both try to be accepting of our fellow man and keep a positive outlook towards new ideas and different beliefs, me in my own life and you as a role model and spiritual leader of our nation.

Concern #3: A World Divided - Immediately following 9-11, the United States, and indeed the entire world, came together in a way not often seen. Domestically, we reached across the isle and became one nation in healing and helping. Abroad, the world joined us in mourning and supported our initial campaigns against our attackers. Yet since that time, we have reverted back to our partisan ways at home and the United States seems to have taken steps away from global decision making abroad. I worry that the divided state we face at home will manifest itself onto the world scene, leaving the United States alone in future endeavors. I believe you can work to slow, stop, and perhaps even reverse these trends on a national and global level while I can reach out in my life to embrace those around me as we find ourselves in disagreement. I would never ask my President to waiver from his first and foremost duty towards the defense of our country and our citizens, but I do think that we as an entire nation need to begin to set aside our differences and remember the truly United States we became after 9-11.


Thank you for your time. I wish you and our entire nation tranquility and prosperity throughout these next four years. God Bless America.

Sincerely,
Derek Walden

D | 11/04/2004 11:17:15 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Funny?
D | Wednesday, November 03, 2004

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I didn't post on Wednesday, so I figured I would retro-actively post a simple political cartoon in anticipation of my next post. For now, no commentary-other than to say I thought this was entertaining.

D | 11/03/2004 08:39:33 PM | 1 comments |   Post your comment

Vote!
D | Tuesday, November 02, 2004

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I hope you did too.

Editors Note: The above sticker should not be confused with the special sticker I made for Alex who voted absentee from Indiana.

D | 11/02/2004 05:23:52 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment

Weekend Update
D | Monday, November 01, 2004

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I don't know why, but this never occurred to me until now: A great weekend should be expected and in turn, enjoyed.

Since I've come back to Cincinnati, nearly every weekend has ended with me saying how great things are and how wonderful my life is. And why not? The weekend shouldn't be some high-drama no-plans waste of two days - a solid weekend spent with good company enjoying good times should be par for the course, not some singular amazing bunker shot that you are amazed when it does even remotely what it was supposed to do. Good weekends are every weekend I spend here in Ohio. I think my time in NYC hardened me to the fact that I have a life to live, friends who love me, and weekends to enjoy. So of course my weekends should be great. And so far they have been; this one was no exception.

SATURDAY
I drove from the 'Nati to Cbus at 7AM in order to vote at 9AM. Voting always makes me feel good, like I am fulfilling some right and duty as an American. So I voted and got my sticker.

Then football. OSU beat Penn State by 10. Nice. Although my seating partners were blitzed out of their mind and I ended up playing Dad the whole time, I still enjoyed the game.

OMEA State Marching Band Finals at Dublin Couffman High School - Lakota West - Superior. It was the first time I had seen the show this year. I loved it. Am I a huge dork? Undoubtedly. Do I care? Not a bit.

Dinner with Kate was pleasant and entertaining as always. I was pissed that MSU blew their lead and let UM win the game, but other than that dinner was good. Afterward we had planned a haunted house, but skipped due to extreme exhaustion.

SUNDAY
Drove to KI at 7AM for work. Forgot to set clock back. Got to work one hour early. Had time for McDonalds and extra sleep in car. Worked all day. Wore random pink tinted sunglasses left by some guest - me and two co-workers sang Marvin Gaye's Lets Get It On and Temptation's My Girl to 3 hot girls riding Monster - wore knight helmet from some kids Halloween costume for like 30 minutes - at all times strove to look, act, and generally be ridiculous. KI work is the perfect outlet for everything stupid in me.

After work, I made plans to go to the movies downtown with another co-worker. I forced her to see Garden State (my 4th time). After the movie, we found an open bar, drank some locally brewed alcoholic cider, and enjoyed each others company for another hour or two. Getting to know someone interesting is always a worthwhile endeavor in my mind. That ended up being a really nice conclusion for a truly solid weekend.

See you all next week. For Weekend Update, I'm Derek Walden.

D | 11/01/2004 11:28:59 PM | 0 comments |   Post your comment