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Same topic
D | Thursday, September 30, 2004
I want to stick with this topic because it is important to me and it is driving my life right now. Good, bad, or otherwise, these are the things I am dealing with currently.
Let me begin by thanking everyone who sent me comments, public and private. You all have taken my words in your own way and have chosen to act on them as you see fit and this is wonderful and further inspiration to me. So thank you for that. For those of you I am pushing, I don't plan to stop anytime soon. Be prepared.
I did want to comment to one specific posted comment. Just a few quick thoughts:
Where you are and what you are right now has to be made right, even if you don't like it that much. Nevertheless, it is you. Incredibly true, I agree. By criticizing and negating the current circumstances, what you are saying is that you are not okay. Again, I agree. I am not "okay" in many aspects of my life, although the force of the post wasn't to criticize or negate anything. The force was to inspire decisive action in myself and others by sharing and understanding each others concerns and fears. What is around you is only an extension of who you are. Look at those things and realize that they are what they are, imperfect though they may be. By accepting the truth, you propel yourself into better circumstances. By resisting, you live in the constant negativity of your own dissatisfaction. Again I agree. We can only move forward by accepting the truth of our own situations. And negativity can kill our hopes and dreams. But lets be clear; often times resistance is our best defense against sliding further into poor circumstances. In my post, I meant to suggest that we should fight for what we want, get out of our funks, take a stand for those dreams we want to accomplish, set a course and follow it until we reach those dreams.
I will probably continue to harp on this topic for a while, so I apologize to all of you who read my journal for its limited humor value which may currently be absent. Bear with me.
In other news, I received an incredible gift today from one of my closest friends. Truly touching; thanks for putting some quality energy into me, those gestures always mean a great deal to me. You squarely hit on a lot of my current feelings on sensitive issues. I always appreciate your support, love, and encouragement. I think I got the general message, and believe me I am trying to do just that. All I can ask is to keep helping me. And that goes for everyone. I don't want to be the only one pushing. Keep pushing me too.
D | 9/30/2004 11:43:23 PM
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Damn Squirrels
D | Tuesday, September 28, 2004
There's a post here, I'm just not sure how to write it, please bear with me...
I'm at dinner with Beth discussing her problems and I feel like I've heard this before. Although she may disagree, my theory is quite simply that she doesn't know what she wants. Her problem is a relationship. Kate's is her job. Alex's sounds like being too nice a guy. Jen's is boredom(?) or basic laziness. Twice (technically 3x), mine has been a relationship, currently is a job/employment but really is all encompassing. But at dinner, I am having problems conveying what seems to me a simple concept. So I utilize my skills of analogizing and come up with a Derek-Walden-classic.
Hot Beth is a squirrel. OK then, a Hot Squirrel. We've all seen this happen. We are driving in our car when a squirrel darts out to cross the street. The squirrel runs 3/4 of the way across the road, looks up, and suddenly notices our car fast approaching. What does he do? He has already run 15 feet and now has 5 more to go to get to his goal of the other side. What does he do? He looks towards where he started, looks towards his goal, looks at the car... What does he do? The god damn squirrel gets run over (or, if you are like me, you swerve into oncoming traffic and crash your car to save the god damn squirrel). So what's the analogy? The squirrel can't make up his damn mind. Do I run back to where I started, do I persevere and run towards the original goal, do I duck and cover and pray for someone else to do something to save me? This is bullshit, and I am really pissed (as I am sure Beth can attest).
Lets all get to together and make up our fucking minds to do something, anything, I don't care what it is, I don't care if it is the right decision, I don't care. And I am just as- no, more guilty, than the next guy. So lets sit down, think about what we want, not what someone else wants from us, what we want to do, and do it. Go after it 110%. And yes, no action is still an action, but if that is what you decide you need to do then fine. But do something, anything. Make a decision and stick to it. I am so tired of hearing bullshit about how our lives are slipping away because of indecision because we are too lazy or complacent or unmotivated or whatever your particular excuse is.
Yes, I'm getting off my soap-box now, but let me leave you with this. No one got yesterday's post and if anyone did get it, then they didn't bother to mention it to me. I haven't exercised in months, I am not in shape at all, and I only run when I get mad at a woman. Yesterday I told myself I was going to run 10 miles. 10 miles, just for me. And so I did. And it was fucking hard, but damn it I did it, and I felt so amazing when I finished. And you guys don't know this, but each of you was there every step of the way. Beth, Kate, Al, Brad, Pat, Miss, Bernard, Jen, My Mom and Dad, and yes, even Lis and Michele and so many others. You all helped push me through it. So ultimately my message is just this: If I can make up my mind to do something, I know each one of you can too. So do it.
D | 9/28/2004 11:42:53 PM
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Great songs, great day
D | Thursday, September 23, 2004
I was driving today, radio on, just thinking in my little bubble about all my crap. Then this song came on, Bob Seger's You'll Accompany Me. A personal favorite of mine with a message that inspires. And I was right where I wanted to be... Great song, great message. Then on the way home, I am in the best mood searching for a song I can sing and blast at the top of my lungs. Pat had a CD in the car and it came down to alternating between OAR's Hey Girl and Bobby Darin's Beyond the Sea. Singing, driving, top down, jamming on my air guitar, conducting my own little swing orchestra. Great day for music. Go get these three songs. AH, GREAT. Some exceprts from each:
You'll Accompany Me
-Bob Seger
I'll take my chances babe I'II risk it all
I'll win your love or I'II take the fall
I've made my mind up girl it's meant to be
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
It's written down some where, it's got to be
You're high above me flyin' wild and free
Oh but someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Out where the rivers meet the sounding sea
I feel it in my soul, it's meant to be
Oh someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Somedaylady you'll accomp'ny me
Hey Girl
-OAR
I took this girl out last night and we left around twelve.
We walked along lonely streets and got to know ourselves.
I like to read, she likes to write.
She likes to sleep, and I love to stay up all night.
My friends say I'm crazy and I agree,
But that's okay cause that's the way I like to be.
Hey, girl come with me and let yourself go.
Beyond the Sea
-Bobby Darin
Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watchin' for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailin'.
It's far beyond the stars
It's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon
We'll meet beyond the shore
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
And never again I'll go sailin'.
D | 9/23/2004 05:41:20 PM
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Making an evening
D | Wednesday, September 22, 2004
The evening was flawless, the show was entertaining, the company was superb. Good food coupled with good conversation can never be outdone.
It was nice to be out for once, making an evening of something. Hitting the town, if you will. It is also nice to be in the company of a woman who can make me feel good about me. No rules, no silly guidelines, no pressure; just us enjoying an evening. A date who can create a perfectly relaxed, yet exciting and intriguing moment with one glance, that's impressive.
Thanks Miss. Tonight was long overdue.
D | 9/22/2004 02:22:18 PM
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Solid
D | Sunday, September 19, 2004
A solid day. Its Fall now; this weekend confirmed it. The mornings are chilly and the nights are clean and crisp. There is a steady breeze that makes you put your hands in your pockets. And in southern Ohio, the leaves are starting to change. Fall, my favorite of all the seasons, is 100 times better here than it will ever be in NYC. This is where I want to be. This is where I should be.
I got an email from a friend I hadn't talked to in a while who I thought was pissed as all Hell at me. Apparently he's not, so that was a good start to this day. I look forward to starting to talk to him again.
I worked for 8 hours today, but not where I expected. I worked with 3-5 year olds all day. Like a 55 pound sack of moving potatoes, I lifted about a thousand of them into and out of these little race cars. And I had a great time. It only takes two or three great kids to make it all worth while.
I met Amy, 17, who plans to name her two (future) children Nadia and Aidan as a wicked practical joke. She got the idea from her best high-school friend whose name is Marlana, who undoubtedly goes by the nickname Analram.
I won a friendly wager after confirming the age of a stunning young mother. The mother was closer in age to me, than I was to Amy. This mother had just placed her 3 (or 4) year old child on our ride... a little scary.
I got a long overdue coffee with B. Philosophy and analyzing everything in our backwards worlds of love remains a wonderful endeavor with a worthy adversary. Cheers B. And even though I'm not tall enough, nor do I have enough muscles, nor do I play enough sports, a last call possibility simply makes me smile. Also, she is promising to set me up on a date with a young and attractive fellow teacher. This has threesome written all over it....
I got a un-surprising call from my date this evening to tell me she was canceling. What was surprising was the tickets to see Chicago. I'm looking forward to possibly mending some broken bridges come Tuesday evening.
My Dad got back from his hiking in Wyoming today. Good to catch up and talk shop about something I love, backpacking. They woke up one morning with 3 inches of fresh snow outside. This on a hike over the continental divide, twice. Damn, I wish I could have been there with you.
I went to see Wimbledon. It was par. Not great, not terrible, just par. It matched my expectations and was about tennis and falling in love. Two of my favorite pastimes. I almost convinced a women to go with me who I don't get to spend enough time and she's an excellent date at that, my mother.
I went for a drive. I traded the E Train on the MTA for a V6 on I-75 and I don't regret that decision one for one second. Although ridiculously speeding, I did not get pulled over by the cop on Cox Road. Better than that, the Butler County Corps of Engineers has repaved my favorite stretch of Princeton Road. So with the windows down and the heater on, the sounds of John William's Imperial March blasted from my Lexus as I flew through one S-turn after the next. It was like ice dancing on a freshly Zamboni-ed rink. Perfection. (That was for you Al!)
A brilliant end to a brilliant day.
D | 9/19/2004 11:54:42 PM
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Weekend Update
D | Saturday, September 18, 2004
College football will always make me happy. Always. Work, women, life, all the other crap. Football is a saving grace. AND: Nuge for Heisman.
The Miss America Pageant has a "Who wants to be Miss America?" section where the 5 remaining women answer trivia questions. It even has that stupid quiz show dramatic music. Has the Miss America pageant really gotten this desperate for market share. What producer said, "You know what will be a good idea, having beauty pageant contestants (I know I am supposed to call them 'scholarship whatevers', someone can help me my posting a comment) answer random trivia on live television. My favorite question: In what year did US women get the right to vote? Its multiple choice, A,B, or C, five women on stage, and ONE gets it correct. At least they all knew where the next summer Olympics would be held.
I met a kid today named Joey (he carefully corrected me, not Joe) who claimed that he had seen an alligator the size of two cars. "Actually it was more like two limos?" "The stretch ones?" I asked. "No, the regular ones." Ok, well now I'm on board. He also mentioned he liked snakes and spiders, but not girls. Me too man. Me too.
Star Wars Episodes IV, V, and VI (us true Star Wars nerds know to use the Roman numerals) comes out on DVD this Tuesday. I think the joke is: "Now the Star Wars nerds of the world can watch the Princess Leia gold bikini scenes in digitally remastered slow-motion in the privacy of our own living rooms." But I'm going with this one: ..., ..., No, I think that was the one.
This is just great. A Spanish man tried to sue his wife for withholding sex from him for five days. He said this was degrading treatment and domestic abuse. Domestic abuse? What about suing your wife over not giving it up? I've heard of sexual quotas in your pre-nup, but this ridiculous. And after only 5 days? Five days. Go buy a magazine. Come on, there are married men in America who could make that case with 5 years or even 50 years of no sex. And to a judge who has been an "abused husband" for just as long... now we are talking open-and-shut case...
Hurricane Ivan tore through Florida, Mississippi, and Alabama this week. Both of my parents are relieved that it missed our house in Sandestin. I too am relieved, but more relieved that it missed our house in Cincinnati.
Did anyone see The Apprentice this week? This show is really hilarious. I sit there, I watch Donald Trump with that hair that looks like it belongs in a wildlife refuge, I think to myself this man is absolutely crazy, and I think this man spends more money on golf tees then I will ever see in my life. Then I keep watching to see what crazy thing he will do in his FAKE boardroom next. He fired "the best guy in the room." What? You're are my best business man. Thanks for making me so much money. Now you're fired. Also, Trump's two little yes-men are hysterical too.
My plan for this week. Get a job working on a dairy farm. I think milking cows is the wave of the future. Wave of the future.
Thats the news. For Weekend Update, I'm Derek Walden wishing you, Goodnight.
D | 9/18/2004 11:55:01 PM
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Kate Respone #2- Faith and Love
D | Friday, September 17, 2004
Kate's other posts concerned "faith" and "love", separately. They are both well written and interesting, so give them a read. While I was pondering the greatness that would be my responses, a strange twist of fate occurred to me. To me, at least, these concepts are inseparable. More on this in a minute.
Love-
I have had the privilege of being in love. And it is truly a privilege, I recognize this, and am thankful. I have been in love, I have loved, been loved in return, fallen for someone, had practical crushes, had ridiculous crushes, had infatuations, had flings, chased women, been chased by women, had relationships of all types, short ones, long ones, easy ones, difficult ones, fun ones, sad ones, serious ones. With all that, I still don't know one damn thing about love.
Bad analogy coming... I read a how-to book about cross examination (The Science of Cross Examination) that compared the act of cross examining a witness to the Chinese pictograph for crisis. The pictograph for 'crisis' is made up of two other pictographs 'danger' and 'opportunity.' Love is like this. A constant ongoing crisis, with lurking dangers and phenomenal opportunities and one additional element, perfection. While no cross examination ever seems flawless, love can bring about feelings that can be found in no other arena and can only be described as perfection. That's my definition.
Last night in a bar, I sat with Kate and she challenged that I had dated more women than she had pairs of shoes. On face value, this seemed funny to me. I immediately dispelled this notion by counting mine and then making Kate count her pairs shoes. Of course she has more than 13 pairs of shoes. Even I have more than 13 pairs of shoes. What is truly funny is my diversity in shoes (hiking, rollerblades, dress, tennis, sandals, etc) would make a near flawless analogy for the diversity of women I've dated. But that, my friends, is another conversation which at least 13 other people would be dis-inclined to read.
Of course I love my family, and putting aside semantic differences in loving your cat or apartment, I want to talk about the romantic usage of love. Contrary to some opinions I've been presented with, I am not one to throw around the L-word. Nonetheless, I've used the words "I love you" more than once, with more than one woman, to mean more than one distinct emotion. And not surprisingly, since we typically make exceptions for our own lifestyle choices, I think that is OK. I agree with Kate that multiple usages are perfectly acceptable, but think over-usage is something to be wary. I also deeply believe that my love for those females to whom I have said these words is no less real, no less important, no less special simply because I have said that same set of words to other women. Just my opinion.
Faith-
I consider my self a "person of faith." Do I go to church regularly? No. Do I pray every night? No. But that isn't the definition of Faith that I use to call myself a person of faith. And I don't think that is the definition that is going to help Kate figure out what she wants to do with her life. I don't think God, or Jesus, or Mohammad, or Ra, or Zeus, or whoever we choose to worship categorically makes us faithful people. Although it is for some, Faith is not always Religion. Pat has this unyielding faith in the Bengals which could be considered a religion of sorts...
Having faith is simpler and a more basic human emotion, perhaps even a human need. I believe Kate's friend is correct. Faith is what fills in the gaps. Faith helps us when we need a hand. With Faith, our victories are sweetened and our defeats softened, all because we believe in something (I stole that line from WW). Recently when things got hard in my life, I started going to church in a desperate search for Faith. And it was good for me, something that helped, something that I needed to do. My father says that faith is where we turn when we have no where left to turn. I believe that is true. But faith doesn't have to be religion. Faith is simply believing in things greater than ourselves and letting those beliefs push us toward grander pursuits and lift us over the tough times.
So my advice to Kate is this: If you've lost faith in your job, start small finding faith in your friends and your family and your other beliefs. Take those pieces and build them into a renewed faith in your job or find another occupation where you believe in what you're doing. You'll find your calling. You'll re-find your faith. I know, I've seen you at your best.
The Link-
In my life, undoubtedly because I am the person I am, love and faith are intimately connected. For me, these two items live and die side by side. When one is up, both are up, and things are good. And when one is down, things are hard for me, and my parents once again think I am suffering from clinical depression.
All of you know: my relationships can dictate my life attitude and my overall emotional well-being. This is why everyone tells me "You should really be single for a while..." Good thing or bad thing, this seems to be the way it is for me and that's fine with me; I like it this way and have no inclination to ever change or suppress this connection. True, my falls are farther and rockier, but my highs are monumental and awe-inspiring. This is me. And this is the way I like it to be.
D | 9/17/2004 02:51:17 AM
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Kate Respone #1- Music
D
Kate hit a couple of good posts in a row and has been asking for a comment, so I now respond. This might take a while and will be done in one or two posting efforts. Let's knock out the easy one first. I always ask people for music suggestions and the response is uninspired. They say, "This person is so good" but give me nothing to go on. Kate, I refuse to do this to you.
Music Appreciation 101: I have been on a big DBC (Dashboard Confessional) kick recently, just the standard classics and a few new ones: Best Deceptions, Screaming Infidelities, Sharp Hint of new Tears, Hands Down, and Vindicated. Especially Vindicated, it has such solid message. DBC's songs seems to be in my playlist for relatively obvious reasons. Also Dispatch: Two Coins, Out Loud, and Flying Horses. All great love/relationship songs. Dispatch's acoustic work is so impressive, especially for someone with a repsect for good guitar players and who himself likes to play but sucks so bad.
Most recently someone threw me onto Gavin Degraw and he is turning out to be pretty talented: Dreams, More than Anyone, Just Friends, Anyway, Crush, Follow Through, Chariot. I can tell he writes songs about the things he knows well: being in love, being hurt by love, being trampled by love, wanting someone new, etc. Very good.
The new (possibly old) Maroon 5 song She will be Loved is a great one. If you get a chance, watch the video. Its a good video. If you want an excellent just-got-dumped song try Ryan Adams, Come Pick Me Up. Talk about a song for the blues...geez, its a classic.
Summer songs included: Jimmy Buffet: Fins, Come Monday, Margaritaville, Changes in Latitude; Beach Boys: Good Vibrations, Help me Rho, and I (used to) Get Around; Garth Brooks: That Summer (this song always makes me get the biggest shit-eating-grin on my face), Standing Outside the Fire; Indigo Girls: Closer to Fine, Galileo. Journey: Anyway you Want It, Don't Stop Believing. Oasis, Wonderwall and Norah Jones, Sunrise are also on my playlist. New Mexico Rain, by Rod Taylor and Southern Accents, by Johnny Cash (or Tom Petty has a good remake) both make me think of better times out at Philmont... Let's throw in Maybe from Annie The Musical, anyone playing Ashokan Farewell or Orange Blossom Special, Burly Brawl from Matrix Reloaded, and Bach's Cello Suite #1, Prelude for a little orchestration.
AND, I cannot forget my personal song-of-the-season, Lustra, Scotty Doesn't Know. I crack up every time. The words are just hilarious.
D | 9/17/2004 02:36:19 AM
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Days like today
D | Tuesday, September 14, 2004
I hate the days like today. Days where I can't get my mind to move away from the one thing I would rather not think about. See, I just ended a sentence in a preposition. I can't even write. Do you know what I mean? I would rather chop off my own arm then spend any single moment of time focused on this topic and while I spend all day looking for a sharp object with which to begin my bloody endeavor, all I do is go back to that which I don't want to go back to.
I am taking suggestions. Please suggest something. TV doesn't work. Books don't work. Driving is the worst. I need something to think about, something to do, something, anything, to occupy my mental facilities. My plan for tomorrow is going to be forced activity. Mandatory Fun. I'm going to do things: mow the yard at break-neck speeds, get X-Rays on my ailing back, smash a helpless tennis ball into a huge wall again and again, go running forever (no scratch that, BAD idea), drink coffee at B&N, perhaps visit Riverfront/GABP and watch the Reds snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Anyone want to go to the Reds game? Someone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? OK, I've lost it...
I need a dog.
D | 9/14/2004 08:27:42 PM
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College football, bringing a smile to my face
D | Saturday, September 11, 2004
I love college football. Love it. NFL, boring. NCAA, love it. And college football is better. How, you ask? You don't really care how, its just better. Ok, fine. Be an ass. College football has: fight songs and marching bands, larger stadiums, more excitement, more big rivalries, more critical moments, more mistakes, more big plays, more athletes with a true love for the game and not playing for the paycheck, more athletes playing with heart and not with head (Thanks Jerry McGuire). And no John Madden; I hate that guy. And no halftime shows with N'SYNC, fireworks, and wardrobe malfunctions.
Save FSU's blown performance against that school we beat in the National Championship, this weekend was a great football weekend. Michigan goes down at the hand's of Alex's Fighting Irish-Lawyers, OSU squeaks it out against Marshall, and we all live to sing our fight songs next weekend.
D | 9/11/2004 11:14:46 PM
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Calculations
D
KI Stats
Time spent in park: approx 2.75hrs
Approx park attendance (3PM): 12,000 guest (capacity is 62,000)
Approx number of attendees going with me: 0
Icees consumed: 1
Son of Beast
Total Rides: 6 (or 7, lost exact count)
Walk-on rides: 4
Distance riden: 42,192ft
Helix: 6480 degrees of helixes
Top speed: 78.3 mph
Notes: 1 front seat ride, 1 back seat ride, 1 ride with 10 year old Matt, 1 ride with park employee, 6 goofy photos
The Beast
Rides: 4 (again, possibly 5)
Walk-on rides: 2
Distance riden: 29,600ft
Distance riden in tunnels: 4,500ft
Helix: 2160 degrees of helixes
Top speed: 64.77mph (although it has been clocked faster)
Time spent on ride: 21 minutes (5:15 per ride)
Notes: 1 front seat ride, 1 back seat ride, 1 ride with first-time rider, 4 goofy photos
The TOTALS
Total distance riden: 71,792ft OR 13.6 Miles
Total Helix Degrees: 8640 OR 24 complete circles
Total voice remaining: 0.27, minimal
Total number of 14 year old girls whose fashion I would describe as "I would never let my daughter out of the house in..." : 17 billion
Total lower back problems: 1, continuing, massive
D | 9/11/2004 09:52:26 PM
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Happy Birthday Beast
D | Tuesday, September 07, 2004
The BEAST, the best roller coaster in the country, turned 25 this season. To commemorate this monumental occasion, I decided I would ride the coaster after it had closed. Thus, I went backwards through the exit que, to the platform, past the attendant, where I was able to sneak on to the last train of the day. Good times. You see there are advantages to having no friends and going to an amusement park alone.
And not that anyone cares, but they added pre-breakrun breaks on The Beast. If you are familiar with the ride, the new (to me) breaks are immediately after the first drop (drop, tunnel, left turn, breaks). Why they would do this, I don't know? Fears of the cars jumping off the track...
In other news, take these personality quizzes (they're short):
What Classic Movie are You?
What Famous Leader are You?
Rather accurately, I was Raiders of the Lost Ark and Bill Clinton. Take the test and post what you got into my comments section for everyone to read.
D | 9/07/2004 08:33:00 AM
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Another one bites the dust
D | Saturday, September 04, 2004
I went to friend-from-highschool's wedding today. It was a nice ceremony, the bride looked gorgeous, etc. For now, any wedding that is not my wedding is good by me.
My cousin, who is 21, is getting married in October. My parents were married when they were 22 and 21. I am currently 23. Other friends my age are starting to take the plunge. I can't maintain a relationship with a fish, much less an eligible female, so marriage is someplace far removed from even the back of my mind. Is this concerning to me? No.
While the happy couple danced their first dance, it occurred to me that I am not there yet. After spending time in New York, I will agree my Mid-Western settling-down tendencies have really started to kick in, but I don't think I'm the "marryin' type" quite yet. Still, I bet it is not too far removed. Would I like a wife, and a white picket fence, and little Derek Jr.? Sure. But not right now. And that decision is more than OK with me.
And so let me conclude by polling the audience. Of my little group, who do you think will get married first? Alex, steady girlfriend of approx 3 years, Bradley steady girlfriend of approx 1 year, or Derek who wants to get a dog really bad. Poll is in the right hand column.
D | 9/04/2004 09:15:23 PM
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Saudis on radio
D
So I'm in the car today, and no joke, I hear an ad on the radio for Saudi Arabia. The country. A commercial for a country. (news coverage: 1, 2) The ad used the 9/11 Commission findings as evidence of their friendly relations with the United States in hopes of improving American citizens' perceptions of the Middle Eastern ally. It was so bizarre.
But is this is not new. Everyday we have TV ads for states: Come to New Mexico, The land of enchantment; Visit West Virginia, We're really not that boring; Vacation in North Dakota, Right above the other Dakota; New Hampshire, Its what's new (WW Ep. 3.9). Also, there are TV commercials for other countries like Ireland, Mexico, Australia, Jamacia, and Cuba. Ok, not Cuba. These seem harmless enough and make perfect sense to me.
The funny thing is commercial was not designed to increase state or national revenue through tourist commerce. Saudi Arabia is already wealthy and has no need for tourism dollars; the ad was just trying to get me to like Saudi Arabia. A $1 million dollar advertising campaign aimed at establishing a positive public perception? Excuse me sir, would you mind answering this quick opinion poll about Saudi Arabia? Well sure, you know I really didn't like the country before, but wait...just today I heard this radio ad saying how they don't support terrorism, so now I'm on board.
Really?
D | 9/04/2004 01:15:52 AM
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The Antics of Pat
D | Thursday, September 02, 2004
If you've never met my brother, you should. He's a character. Tonight we were drinking beers and we had a chuckle out of this, so I figured I would share the story.
At my urging, Pat puts our beer into the basement freezer (not fridge) so we won't have to walk upstairs to get it. After Pat is about 6 deep he comes back with a new beer for each of us. He sits down, twists off the top, and tries to drink it, only to discover it is partially frozen. Surprisingly, there is still enough carbonation to make the frozen beer start oozing from the top of the bottle. Kinda like an up-side-down Icee dispenser. If you have ever seen one of those charcoal "black snake" firecrackers, this is what the beer does. It is a slow steady eruption and Pat quickly yelps, "Hey, look at my beer." Because this sight is quite entertaining, I just sit there and start laughing. I guess we both assumed it would stop shortly, but it didn't. So we just sit there. Watching this beer bubble out of the bottle. Pat is the first to realize this isn't going to stop anytime soon and is making a mess. He gets up and starts carrying our little science project to the bathroom, and to combat the endless overflowing, he cups his hand and places it beneath the bottle to catch the run-off. But now he has no hands to open the closed bathroom door. By now I am in hysterics. So here's Pat standing at the bathroom door, overflowing beer in one hand, pile of partially frozen beer in the other, doing some ridiculous version of the urgent pee dance, yelling, "Help me you jackass, help me."
We put the beer in the sink and waited for it to defrost. Needless to say, we also had to clean up Pat, the table, and the carpet.
Ok, so re-reading this story, if you can't imagine my brother doing this I don't think you will find this anecdote funny, or amusing, or even worthwhile pleasure reading. But if you do know Pat, enjoy. Feel free to comment on the humor value below.
PS: If you are Marsh or Big Gar, this never happened and the carpet is fine.
D | 9/02/2004 04:37:08 AM
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Joke
D | Wednesday, September 01, 2004
The Reader's Digest version of a joke I read today:
So there's a mix up at St. Peter's gate and a Heaven-bound engineer gets sent to Hell. Not happy with his surroundings, he starts to make improvements: electric lights, indoor plumbing, the internet, etc.
After a little while, God hears about all these great improvements being made to Hell so he goes down to visit Satan and discovers the engineer. "Hey wait a minute Satan, that guy is supposed to be in Heaven," God says. "You can't have him back. He's mine now," says Satan. "Well... well.... if you don't give him back, then, then.... I'LL SUE YOU," decrees God. "Yeah right. Where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?" replies Satan.
Lawyer jokes never stop being funny.
Quote of the day: "To those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie men!" -The Governator
D | 9/01/2004 01:03:53 AM
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Harry Potter II
Harry Potter I
Easy Rider