Serendipity is what's wrong with love
D | Sunday, December 04, 2005

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No, not actual serendipity. And no, not the restaurant - although, the world is slowly getting fatter and a restaurant which only serves such delectable desert beverages is only contributing to the fattening of America (myself included). I am talking about Serendipity, the movie. If you've never seen the movie and plan to someday, skip the next paragraph. If you have seen it, or don't care that I am giving away the ridiculously predictable plot, read on.

Serendipity is an unfortunate, yet amusing, chick flick where two would-be lovers spend a few hours together in a regular day. Agreeing that if they are fated to be together then they will be, he writes his name and number on a $5 which she promptly places in circulation and she writes her name and number in a book which she promises to sell the next day. Thus, if they find the bill or the book and call each other and get together, they were meant to be. The movie flashes ahead a few years to find both are now engaged. The plot unfolds with their last ditch search attempts to find each other. Folly ensues. In the end, they break off their respective engagements and resolve to live alone - only to (miraculously) find each other and live happily ever after.

Bite. Me.

This is what is wrong with the world of love. This does not happen. And if it ever did, good God man, don't let Kate Beckinsale give you the brush with some awful line about fate while she writes her number in a book. No no no. These escapades do not happen in real life. They never will. Now I would agree that we go to the movie to step away from our real lives and momentarily live in fantasy land, but films like Seredipi-shit are giving us false hope. No wonder everyone is wandering around looking for their soul mate - the odds of meeting someone perfect for you while glove shopping in Bloomingdales is like 8 ga-zillion to 1. They probably had to rehearse the scene even in a made up movie.

Much like supermodels subliminally encourage women that they should be skinny, chick flicks are poisoning the world with crappy fantasy romantic dribble. When are they going to make a movie about a guy who goes to a bar, gets drunk, takes some random girl home and that ends up being his future wife? Huh? When are they going to make that movie?

D | 12/04/2005 03:25:00 PM |   Post your comment

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Comments:

Derek,
I feel your sentiments wholeheartedly. I often come out of movies like that doing one of two things: feeling that my life is lacking because I'm single and should be perfect if only I could find Mr. Right - or - I end up romanticizing any relationship in my life beyond any realistic measure. Whether I come out sad or happy - the results eventually end up the same - a general dissatisfaction with my own life situation. Boo.

However, I will say this about romantic movies. Although they do give us hope for what may be unattainable - they do give us a reassurance that we are not alone in wanting more from life - more passion, more romance, and more meaning in general. I can admit that watching a movie has inspired me to share feelings with someone, call someone I hadn't spoken to in a while, or any other number of things... Just like seeing a person like Mother Theresa may make us feel inadequate - they can also create small miracles of kindness and love. It is also a comfort to know that in this selfish, money starved, and emotionally cautious world - that people share a common longing to be part of something that is bigger and more beautiful than we ourselves are alone. Love. It gives me hope, for some reason, in people - that romantic movies are still moving people. We are not yet a callous and apathetic society. So I say, long live romantic movies.
Anonymous | December 05, 2005 6:53 PM | permalink
 

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Excellent post and I share your feelings to a large degree. But here are a few points:

1. Random, unexplainable, movie-like situations do happen, they're just rare and they don't happen to anyone. You know that movie, "Before the Sunrise" or something, with Ethan Hawke, where he meets this woman and falls in love with her and they only have one day together in Paris before they depart? Well something very similar happened to a friend of mine, who was on this ferry going between the Greek Isles. She was stuck on it for many hours and met this guy randomly. They ended up having this really intense few hours together where they practically fell in love. And then when the ride was over, they went their seperate ways. Granted this is different than what the movie covers, but you get the point. Stuff like this is possible, although of course Hollywood blows the "serendipitous" nature of it all out of proportion. Anon has it right when she says it taps into our common desire to want something more and to dream that these sorts of things are possible. I've had my own share of "I can't believe this actually happened to me" moments where I do a doubletake about what I've experienced because it seems too perfect and unreal. That said, they are very far and few betweem

2. Now I want to agree with you. What these movies do, and what I think is unfortunate, is that they make people feel as if this is the only way things can be done. Suddenly, when you compare your relationship to something like "The Notebook," you feel like shit, because chances are, your relationship is not like that. That's not to say that those sorts of relationships aren't possible, but only that they aren't necessarily the best thing. Your relationship, your love, doesn't all of a sudden become crap just because you've failed to mimic some Hollywood scenes. People get into these "Hollywood modes" and then they're just stuck there, and forever dissatisfied with everything that doesn't rise to the level of near-fantasy. Need I add that girls are especially prone to this condition? I didn't think so.
Ruvym | December 06, 2005 12:23 AM | permalink
 

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To be perfectly honest, I liked the movie. As far as romantic comedys go, this one is not half bad.

Anon,
I also agree that movies can inspire us and can bring out the best in us (not sure about Mother Teresa though...). I just meant to suggest that there are millions of wom, er, people out there running around with crazy ideas of love and those ideas are based off the fantasy world created in movies. Now don't get me wrong, I want a lightsaber as much as the next guy, but it doesn't keep me up at nights cryign that my love life is not as perfect as on TV.

In the end, I also say 'long live romantic movies' because they encourage snuggling and snuggling related activities.

R,
Once again, we find we agree on almost everything. Shocking, to be sure...
1.You're friend is awesome, but why didn't her get this chick's number and seal the deal. Good story though.
2.I agree women are more prone to this movie-based-suffering, but lets be fair... every now and again I wished, not for the perfect love life, but to be the guy who executes some sort of dashing romantic well intentioned love struck plan. No?
D | December 06, 2005 12:36 PM | permalink
 

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Lest you have your little mind poisoned about ALL women, let me just say that I totally agree with you! (As a side note, I had a similar experience as Ruvym's friend - met a guy, we spent his last two nights in London together and then saw each other about twice more back in the States. But unlike the movies, we did not fall madly in love and live happily ever after. He moved to California and I never heard from him again. But that's life. It was a good couple days and nothing more.)

Back to the point...this is why I tend not to like the more "romantic" of the "chick flicks." My favorite "chick flicks" are probably Fried Green Tomatoes, Steel Magnolias and Mona Lisa Smile. (Another side note: I hate the term "chick flick" because these are really just regular dramas that have female protagonists...Mona Lisa Smile was just like the female equivalent of Dead Poets Society...doesn't make it a chick flick, though.) In the first two of those movies, one of the main characters has a less-than-perfect marriage and then ends up dying young. And in the third, the young pretty newlywed gets divorced.

And I loved the movie Lost in Translation because Scarlett Johansen's and Giovanni Ribisi's marriage wasn't perfect and romantic. But she didn't run off and leave him and live happily ever after. Because that would be totally unrealistic. Did you ever see the final episode of The Wonder Years? It's great because Winnie and Kevin get married - to other people, just like would probably actually happen.

Movies poison us into thinking that our relationships must be these picture=perfect romances, but that's total crap. Maybe I'm just cynical, but I stopped liking those crappy romantic movies a while back. Unless they're really funny (i.e., Wedding Crashers), in which case I'm there for the laughs, not the romance. Pop music has the same problem, which reminds me of a quote from the fabulous movie High Fidelity: Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable, or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?
IrishBrooke | December 06, 2005 1:58 PM | permalink
 

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Derek -

Nice post. Couldn't agree more. You should check out the movie "In Good Company" with Dennis Quaid, Topher Grace and Scarlett Johannsen (sp?). It's not really a chick flick, but it provides the reality counter-point to relationships found in most chick flicks. Not un-Spanglish-ish, but more applicable to our lives as young adults.

Lates.
JOSAR VACHI of the planet Valtrex! | December 06, 2005 11:06 PM | permalink
 

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