Attache
D | Tuesday, October 18, 2005

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This weekend, I saw the following license plate and immediately thought of Ben Ranz. The owner had even added the accent mark with blue tape. If anyone knows Ranz's email, send him a link to this page and let's see if we can get our own Dan Kaffe to explain why this is funny.



And take your f*cking attache with you.
-Ranz

UPDATE: Ranz explains here. Too funny.

D | 10/18/2005 12:12:00 PM |   Post your comment

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Comments:

Ranz.2
Ashley | October 18, 2005 2:49 PM | permalink
 

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I sent him and email and he totally responded so we will have for wait for a response.
D | October 18, 2005 4:38 PM | permalink
 

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I'm pretty sure it was a dress rehearsal...I don't think we had real props until two or three days before the show. But that freaking attache was around since the first rehearsal. "Nice bag, Lucia" we'd always say. "It's not a bag it's an ATTACHE," she'd retort. Just cause that's what it said in the script: "Jo, a tight ass commander with a stick up her butt who carries an attache."

So we were rehearsing, and really getting into it cause we finally had our costumes and stuff and it was the scene where I come in all drunk after Markinson kills himself and after Jo screwed up big time when Downey was on the witness stand and then she calls me a coward and I get pissed and knock everything over and say "thanks for playing should we or should we not follow the advice of the galactically stupid!!" and then she goes "sorry I lost you your set of steak knives" and storms off. And we were so into it
that when I saw she forgot her attache, I picked it up, walked over to the door, threw it out at her and yelled "you forgot your fu%*ing attache!!" and Coleman & I just kept going in the scene. That attache had been the bane of my character's existence for the entire show, and I finally got my retribution. It was wildly funny. Good times on that set, good times. Other memories include:
Smiley Sarah's yoga training.

That stupid door frame that moved back & forth between every scene.

Dave "I'm only in this cause I live next to Ranz" Dumbauld yelling at Dawson..."let's go!"

Instead of a doll for a while all we had for Sam's baby was a sweatshirt wrapped in a blanket with a nerf basketball for a head.

Jack not showing up to a dress rehearsal like 2 nights before the show.

The first night of the show I skipped over a whole big paragraph at the end about the log book.

Coleman saying stupid things like "so this is cuba huh? where are all the cigars and stuff?"

Director Derek saying stuff like..."I don't need you to act right now. I need you to RE-act."

all for now,

Ranz, out
Ranz | October 18, 2005 10:49 PM | permalink
 

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Well done. That story is 100% accurate. For the longest time we teased Lucia for days and days about how the script called for to have not just a briefcase, but an "attache."

That dress rehearsal, Ranz was so into the scene that when he noticed she forgot her bag, he picked it up and hurled it off the stage. And Ranz made a point to call it a "f*ckig attache." I thought it was so funny, I could barely stop laughing.

Other things of note:
-Coleman going off script and shooting a pretend gun till Kaffe walked up

-The last performance, Coutinho went off script for about 5 minutes ranting and raving about the Marines

-That huge PVC pipe monstrosty we constructed as a backdrop

That was a great time. And just for the record I don't recall ever giving the "just re-act" direction. That doesn't sound like something I would say, does it? I do know that my catch phrase was whenever anyone would come to me with a problem I would respond with a casual, "Don't worry - we'll figure something out."
D | October 19, 2005 1:13 AM | permalink
 

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To this day, when coleman & I aren't sure what we're going to do...whether it be weekend plans or where we're going for dinner, we always look at each other and say "we'll figure something out" with a little mental hat tip to you derek.

"It's their code"
Ranz | October 19, 2005 3:06 PM | permalink
 

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