Toothpaste
D | Tuesday, June 07, 2005

---

I finished a tube of toothpaste as I was brushing my teeth this morning. I don't know if this is a big deal for anyone else, but this is quite the accomplishment for me. I mean, I was the sole user of this one tube of toothpaste since I was living in New York. This tube has accompanied me through 4 residences (possibly 5 depending on your counting method), 3 relationships, and about 10 or 11 months now. This marks the first time I can remember throwing away an empty tube of toothpaste in my entire life. That is impressive to me.

But it got me thinking, if this is one of the first times I can remember finishing a tube of toothpaste, what happened to all the other tubes I have been using throughout my life. Anyone who has dated me knows my aversion to oral hygiene, but let's set that aside for a moment - I've still used quite a bit of toothpaste in my life. My Dad works for P&G for pete's sake; we get it for free. But what has happened to all those other tubes? Do I only use part of a tube before it disappears and I buy/find a new tube? Do I get tired of one flavor and switch to another? Does some magical Toothpaste Fairy switch tubes when one starts running low? Are there thousands of half used tubes of toothpaste lurking in my old sink drawers? Even worse, are there thousands of empty, yucky, gross, crusty tubes waiting to be discovered in my former bathrooms. Some random guest at the New Yorker is going to open my medicine cabinet to find 18 half used tubes of Crest that I left there when I moved.

D | 6/07/2005 05:08:00 PM |   Post your comment

---

Comments:

This story reminds me of Sex and the City, season 4.

Carrie: Who needs five almost-empty Speed Stick Deoderants? What are you a crazy bag man?

Aidan: They're different smells.
Ashley | June 07, 2005 8:05 PM | permalink
 

---

I think the more important question is how annoyed were you to squeeze that last bit out of the tube?

One tube in almost a year? Maybe it's time to increase your brushing frequency. Shouldn't it last like 2 months? I just know that flossing sucks ass.
Ruvym | June 07, 2005 11:19 PM | permalink
 

---

Ash,
They all do have different smells.

R,
I wasn't annoyed at all. It was a moment of triumph. And yeah, I should probably be brushing my teeth on a more regular basis.
D | June 08, 2005 12:58 PM | permalink
 

---

Post your comment