Law firm advice
D | Monday, June 27, 2005

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Ash sent me a chain email about working in a law firm. The email listed all the things you could to to have more fun/get fired from your law firm job. To save you the trouble of reading the whole thing, I've selected the ones I found amusing (some more than others) and added some commentary.

Every day, stroll into work at 11:30 AM and loudly declare "A fisherman lives by the rhythm of the sea, people."
-This is brilliant. If Alex and I ever have our own firm, I am doing this. Everyday!

Whenever you make a persuasive point in conversation with colleagues, snap your fingers, announce reproachfully, "No further questions for this witness", then walk away whistling.
-Dan Kaffee style. Then ask where the mess hall is.

End every sentence, written or oral, with "and shit". Examples:
"Frankly, John, while the estoppel rationale serves us well here, I'm not sure we should abandon the more salient jurisdictional issues and shit." "Your Honor, I object. The question is vague and shit."
-This reminds me of when I was at Philmont. As a Ranger, I had a crew from Texas and they never did anything, but were "fixin' to" do everything. After they found out I wanted to be an attorney, I asked if Texas attorneys stand up in court and say, "Your Honor, I am fixin' to object."

Hand a paralegal a bag of Cheetos and ask to have them ordered chronologically.
-That was just for all my friends working paralegal-ish jobs this summer.

Offer co workers breath mints. When they reach for them, pull away and yell "Cert denied" Run away cackling.
-Lawyer humor, yes, but priceless nonetheless. Truly, this is the best of all the suggestions. Priceless.

D | 6/27/2005 07:41:00 PM |   Post your comment

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Comments:

Are you thinking of going back to law school, then?
Anonymous | June 28, 2005 8:34 AM | permalink
 

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I find it scary when you start laughing at "inside" lawyer jokes just because you know what something means. I cracked up at that "cert" joke, but I kind of hated myself for it. Next thing you know you start making jokes about how funny the latest edition of the Restatement Contracts is. When that happens you know you've been sucked in and there's no turning back.
Ruvym | June 28, 2005 1:35 PM | permalink
 

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Anon,
I've been saying I'm going back to law school for a long time now, but since when have I ever done what I said I was going to do? I'll keep you posted. Thanks for asking.

R,
It just the way it is. We're law nerds. I think we are well past being "sucked in."
D | June 28, 2005 2:33 PM | permalink
 

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So, where do you think you'll when you head back? Back to NYC or someplace in the MIdwest?
Spikey | June 28, 2005 4:48 PM | permalink
 

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Wow, I didn't think my law school would be a topic of interest to my readership. Thanks for caring guys, that's awesome.

I would like to stay here and finnish law school, but honestly I don't know. Everything is up for debate/admittance. Again, I'll keep everyone posted.

Thanks again. And who are you? I don't think we have heard from you before. Welcome.
D | June 29, 2005 3:39 AM | permalink
 

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