Out of the woodwork Senator problem
D | Tuesday, May 31, 2005

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I think I might have a beef with West Wing - the show has "The red shirt officer" problem. For those of you not Star Trek fans, whenever Captain Kirk/Picard would send down an "away team" four people would beam down to the surface/ship/unidentified object. Depending on the series, it was Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and one other guy OR Riker, Data/Jordi, Worf, and one other guy. This mysterious other guy was destined to die. No doubt about about it. If anyone draws phasers and starts shooting, the fourth red shirt officer always dies. He's a throw-away character who adds gravity to the situation by dying without forcing the public to actually lose any character we care about. Fifty percent of the time, we don't even know this guy's name. How sad...

Anyhow, after watching 12 straight hours, I think West Wing has fallen victim to a similar problem. I'm going to call it "The out-of-the-woodwork Senator" problem. Granted Congress is a big place with 500+ individuals in a constantly revolving door, but there are only a few repeated congressional characters in the entire series. Sorkin, like Rodenberry, just invents someone to push the plot forward for one or two scenes and then (mercilessly) kills them off.

I'm a gay senator who is a Republican and you will never see me again. I am a young Democrat Congressman from Texas and you will never see me again. I proposed a higher gas tax, I'm worried about military base closings, I'm tying up precinct captains in Iowa, I'm the head of Senate Judiciary - and you will never see any of us ever again. If Donna doesn't start a romantic relationship with us (and sometimes even if she does), we are doomed.

This makes me sad. There is probably a section of the Warner Bros backlot where they toss the "used" Senators. But where's the continuity in the series? Bring back Senator Texas or Gay Republican or Gas Tax Wench. Bah. I could do it better...

EXT: Capitol Building, Washington DC, night

Riker, Data, Worf, and Senator Smith beam down from the Enterprise to to the front steps of the Capitol Building in order to investigate some Medicare reform laws, when suddenly...

RIKER:

Oh no, left-wing Klingons.

DATA:

Watch out Senator Smith. They are behind you.

SEN. SMITH (R - FL):

No, I have to talk about a school voucher pilot program for students of....aagggghhhh.

A phaser shot hits Senator Smith square in the chest. He falls to the ground, but Worf and Data are able to blast the remaining Klingons.

RIKER:

Let's get out of here. (taps his communicator) Three to beam up. We lost Senator Smith to those crazy farm-subsidy-net Klingon bastards...

WORF:

Damn those guys who do the thing.

D | 5/31/2005 04:58:00 PM |   Post your comment

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Comments:

That's pretty damn funny.
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Thanks. I try.
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